


Sometimes, someone's happy ending destroys a life...

by Ashratherose



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Keith, Attempts at other relationships, Awesome alpha Marco, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Im fucking crying. And I wrote the damn thing. Bring tissues, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance's POV, Langst, M/M, Mental Illness, OC's - Freeform, Omega Lance, Omegaverse, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post Season 6, Tears, This isn't a happy fic, Trauma, broken relationships, keith is too late, klangst, laith and Lena, lance is a fucking mess, respecting boundaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-08 05:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15236187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Post-Season 6.Lance is in a world of pain, until Keith reaches out his hand.Sometimes getting your happy ending means someone else loses theirs.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance was gutted. He felt like a worthless fool. A worthlessly embarrassing fool. He'd slipped. He'd let let whole team have a glimpse of a side of him he'd rather they'd never seen. He was Lance. The comic relief. The seventh wheel. The temporary Red Paladin who'd stupidly fallen under Allura's spell! He didn't get it. He couldn't figure it out, no matter how he thought, it all came back to, why?! Why had he let himself develop feelings for someone so... perfect, and brilliant and so far out of his league? Hey gorgeous personality, her beautiful appearance and enchanting smile... he'd thought he'd loved her... but he'd never realised to what degree... they'd been so close, now it all they had was awkwardness. And since when had all his pretending become reality?! He might have flirted with Allura since day, but he'd known he never had a chance. He was just a boy from Cuba... and a boy who's heart already belonged to another.

So now, here he was. Listening to the others chatting, as his shook. Crying silent tears so as not to burden the others. They were all so happy. So happy that Keith had come back... even if he wasn't the Keith remembered. The Keith he remembered was barely the same height as him. He was the Keith with a quick temper, always baited by the slightest quip... but this Keith... he didn't know what to do. What to say. Keith had come back radiating an aura of maturity. An aura telling Lance his feeble jokes and bad flirting weren't going to be appreciated. He was now someone Lance didn't recognise, yet his stupid feelings wouldn't leave him alone. His verbal banter with Keith had kept him going. When everyone was busy, all it'd take was a look, or a gentle teasing of Keith's mullet and that was it, they'd fall into an almost family like fight, no real bite in their words, but nothing akin to love. That had been enough, but now he didn't even have that. He was alone in Red, Kaltenecker his only companion, and the memories of his death to keep him company. He was lonely and miserable. Hating himself for how desperately he wanted one of them to reach out, to simply ask if he was ok. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. They were going home, but what happened then? Shiro was back. Which once again meant there were more Paladins then lions. If they were to build a new castle with the help of Earth and the Galaxy Garrison, then they'd insist on staffing the castle with their people. Most suitable Paladin's would be selected, though it was up to the lions if they accepted them. None of them had asked to be Paladin's, yet the others... the others filled their roles so perfectly. There really was no space for him.

Hunk's laughter filled Red. Pidge teasing him over something trivial, while Hunk spluttered and laughed. It hurt to hear. They were all so happy. So full of hope. While he was alone. He didn't even know if they knew he'd died. He could still feel the coldness nested in his heart, at first he'd thought it from Allura accidentally breaking it, but now he was sure it was from his death. He was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to be dead and now he was sitting here like some abomination  
"Paladins, we'll set up camp for tonight on the planet ahead. We need to plan our trip home, and there will be much to do along the way"  
"Alright Allura. Because you asked so nicely"  
"Don't be hangry, Hunk. We'll feed you once we get there"  
"I'm not Hangry"  
"Sorry Hunk, I've got to agree with Pidge on this one"  
"Ha! See. Even Shiro agrees!"  
"Shiro, man. I thought we were friends"  
"I think we could all use some rest and food..."  
"I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to this confident Keith"  
"Don't start on me Pidge"  
"I'm just saying! You've changed"  
Allura giggled as something rustled in the background  
"Of course he's changed. He was gone for two years!"  
"And he comes back with such a pretty girlfriend"  
"Shiro, Romelle isn't my girlfriend"  
"Why not? She's pretty"  
"I can't believe you. I save you and this is how you repay me?"  
"What can I say? My little brother is so grown up"  
"Keep going and I'll put you back in a pod"  
"Now boys, no need to fight"  
"That's right. I'm recovering, go easy on me"  
"And he's only got one arm!"  
"And grey hair! You've gotten old!"  
"There's nothing wrong with my hair!"  
"Yeah, nothing a little dye wouldn't fix!"  
"Shiro, ignore Pidge. I think your hair suits you"  
"Shut up, Matt!"  
"Thanks, Matt"  
See. They didn't need him. They hadn't needed him when they'd stopped on Olkarion to explain the situation. They hadn't needed him when Matt had decided to join them. None of his friends had even noticed when he'd returned to Red ahead of time, only caring that he'd been in his pilot seat when they took off. It wasn't like he hadn't asked if there was something he could do, but Hunk had brushed him off, while Pidge had told him to leave it to the "big kids". He hadn't said a single thing to any of them since, that was a nearly a movement ago... 

 

*  
Landing on the planet, the others had landed so there wasn't actually any space for Red near them. The plateau they occupied was nestled between two sharply sloping rises, neither of which had enough space for Red, and the next closest space was a good three to four hundred metres away. Whatever. It was better this way. No one would hear him crying in his sleep, and no one would bother making the walk. He'd just get some sleep, and be yelled at in the morning for keeping them all waiting. Standing, Lance ran his hand over his pilot's chair sadly. He was going to miss Red. Even if she might not feel the same  
"Red, can you please open your mouth? I need to let Kaltenecker out for the night"  
Obliging, Red lowered herself, opening her mouth and allowing a cold gush of fresh air to fill her cockpit. Kaltenecker mooed, not at all impressed over the frigid air  
"I'm sorry girl. You know the rules"  
Kaltenecker went out at night, otherwise she'd mess up Red's cockpit in more ways than one. Leading his stubborn cow down, he tethered her right beside Red's jaw, before backtracking and grabbing her water pale  
"I know girl, but you've got plenty of grass?"  
Kaltenecker looked so completely done with him. He really must be pathetic  
"Don't worry. I'll make sure you go to a good home when we get back to Earth"  
Flicking her tail, she turned her back on him.

Opening the doors to the cargo bay, Lance looked at the pathetically small piles of belongings he had. He'd tried to make the effort to keep things neat and organised in a manner that would make Shiro proud of him, but what was the point when he never talked to them? Back home, his mother had always been on his case about making his bed. About how an omega needed to know how to run a household. How to cook. How to clean. What to say. What not to say. What to wear. What to be. Every part of his life was ruled by his secondary dynamic, and it wasn't until he'd joined the Galaxy Garrison that he'd realised he was incredibly lucky to know everything his mother had taken the time to drill into him. Male omegas were a joke. An abomination. They weren't even permitted into the Galaxy Garrison, but Lance had gotten his letter of acceptance before he'd ever had his first heat. No. That came two weeks later when his mother and father were away on a business trip and he was supposed to watch the house with his older brothers, but they both had girlfriends and he'd been left alone. The moment he'd realised what was happening, he'd been filled with terror that just thinking of the memory still triggered that same terror. His mother had come to find him half dead, unable to care for himself during his heat. His brothers had been been smacked with her shoe until they'd both been reduced to tears, while he had been taken to the doctors and given a new and highly experimental shot, designed for long term suppression. He still got "heats" but instead of loosing control of himself, it instead consisted of a week of cramping and headaches, while his own sweet scent was completely obliterated. Something he considered a small price to pay to achieve his dream of being a pilot. Scents were one of the first things noticed when finding and selecting a desirable mate, but he couldn't smell the difference between an alpha and beta, or even a omega for that matter. The only scents he could pick up were from deodorants, or soaps, or shampoos. Things like that. When Hunk and Pidge had incorrectly assumed him a beta, he hadn't corrected them. Being a beta wasn't exactly high in social standing, but it was miles higher than a male omega. Shaking his head over the state of Red, Lance ignored it completely, making his way over to the pilot of blankets that now served as his bed, and crawling into them without even bothering to undress, or bothering to eat. The Olkari had made sure they were all stocked with enough rations to last them a phoeb. His having magically appeared one day in Red's cockpit without his knowledge. He would have liked to have thanked Ryner, but she was always so busy with everyone else that it always felt rude to interrupt. Now he'd probably never have the chance. Curling around his Bayard, he cried himself to sleep.

Lance was awoken by angry pounding. His heart was racing, being woken by anger was perhaps the scariest way to wake. When his dad had lost his job, he'd drowned himself in drink. Being the youngest, Lance hadn't known to run and hide like the others. His father had knocked him around more than once, before his mother had thrown him out to get sober. When his dad had come home, things had gone back to normal... but the fear remained. It was an irrational fear his seven year old self couldn't understood. Every time his father would raise his hand, even if it was to ruffle his hair affectionately, his heart would race as he flinched away. Veronica had let it carry on for your years before finally explaining to him. He didn't hate his dad for hurting him, his dad hated himself enough over it for the both of them. But trauma is a funny thing. Climbing to his feet, he wrapped his arms around himself as he walked over to door in Red's mouth, pressing down on the hand pad to reveal a very pissed Pidge  
"What the fuck, Lance?!"  
"What..."  
"Don't what me. Your stupid cow was down at camp this morning. If you can't look after her, you never should have brought her with you"  
"Is she ok?"  
"No she's not. She's cut her back leg on something. Allura's going to take her so Romelle can treat her wound"  
"I..."  
"Just get your act together, and stop sulking. You're not the only one hurting right now"  
"I get it. Sorry, Pidge"  
"So you should be, we don't need the stress right now. We're heading out, so try not to fall asleep"  
He knew Pidge wasn't a morning person, but shit. He'd made sure Kaltenecker was tethered properly. He'd even double checked she was. Now she was hurt, and it was his fault...

Once again the kept their coms at they flew. With no teladuv, they'd fly for six or so vargas, land on whatever moon or planet was closest for a short "lunch" break, then fly for another 6, before making camp for the night. As usual everyone was chatting off and on around him, while Lance stared down at his Bayard. Allura has said he was meant for greatness, and he supposed idiocy counted. The world's greatest idiot. That was him  
"So Lance, what's the first thing you're going to go when you get home?"  
Lance jumped at the sound of his own name, taking a few ticks to place the voice. Keith's mum... why was she talking to him? She should be happy with Shiro and Keith... she'd practically adopted Shiro on the spot  
"Knowing Lance its going to be something stupid, like chatting up girls by telling them he's some big space hero"  
"Either that or he's going to stuff his face. I can smell the garlic knots from here"  
Everyone laughed, Shiro pointing out that Hunk was probably going to be the one to stuff his face. Lance's face burnt. Keith had probably told his mum just how much of hopeless flirt he was, and about all the times he'd been rejected  
"Ha ha, good one guys"  
"See, he doesn't even deny it"  
"Seriously man, there's more to life than girls"  
When he didn't reply to Matt, Pidge giggled  
"Awww, I think we hurt his feelings. Lance, its ok. I'm sure someone out there will like your bad jokes"  
"It's fine. I'm going to take a nap"  
"Food and sleep! What a life!"  
The conversation moved on from him, Lance crawling from his chair, making his way to behind it as he hid his face against his knees. He just needed to make it home. If he made it home, he'd never see any of them ever again.

When that nights planet was decided, he was the first to land, turning his coms off and heading out of Red before the others had even finished powering down. Relieving himself quickly, he ignored how light headed he felt. He probably should bother to eat, but it was just so much effort. Walking back to Red, he could see the others already making camp. Shiro supported by Krolia, Keith standing beside the protectively. It was a bitter feeling. Heading back into Red, this time he actually bothered to find a ration pack, and bottle of water. If he got sick, they'd all get madder at him. Settling down in the back corner of Red, he picked at the granola like bar with disinterest, while trying to figure out how to actually contribute to the team. He didn't want to be dead weight anymore.

Lance was crying softly when something wet ran up his face. His breath caught as he tried to escape the situation, only to be yipped at as something solid pressed against his chest. Wiping his face, the omega blinked, sniffling as he realised it was Keith's wolf  
"Did you get lost again? I'm not Keith..."  
He couldn't even remember the dumb dogs name, but staring right into his eyes, it lowered itself down, huffing as it did. It's two large paws firmly against his chest, so there was no way he was going anywhere. Thumping it's tail, the wolf nuzzled at his face  
"I'm not your human..."  
Lance hesitated before wrapping his arms around the beast, nuzzling its soft coat as his soft cries turned to sobs. This was the first real warmth he'd felt in quintants that hadn't come from a cow  
"How come you're here? Keith's gonna be mad when he realises you've been slumming it with me"  
Carding his fingers through the blue fur, the wolf didn't pull away, though it did stop nuzzling at his face, instead resting its face on his shoulder  
"Sorry. I should let you get back"  
When Lance's fingers loosened their grip on the fur, the wolf let out a whine, as if telling him not to let go  
"Do... you maybe want to stay here a little while? I was going to go to sleep"  
Keith must have taught the wolf "sleep" as it pulled away, before laying beside his leg  
"What am I going to do with you?"  
Sliding down his bed, Lance tentatively snaked his arm around the wolf, burying his face back again the fur as his he pulled a blanket over the pair of them, and settled down properly  
"I don't know if you can understand me, but thank you... all I ever do is mess up... so.. thank you"

That night was he first night since his death that Lance didn't wake from a screaming nightmare. Instead he woke to Keith's wolf liking at his face, and pawing at his chest  
"Alright, I'm up. I'm up!"  
Yipping, the wolf disappeared and reappeared, playfully lowering its self and wriggling its butt before each jump  
"You need to go back to Keith. He'll get mad"  
The wolf cocked it's head, as if telling him he was stupid  
"I don't have much for breakfast..."  
The granola bar from the previous night was still beside his pillow. Pulling the wrapper off, Lance threw the bar, the wolf catching it happily  
"You need a name. I don't know what Keith calls you, but I'm going to call you Storm. Thanks for last night, but I'll be ok. Go back to Keith before he gets too worried"  
Yipping again, the wolf disappeared, this time not reappearing the cargo hold.

Today's topic of conversation was Keith's missing wolf. Lance hadn't turned on his coms until after they'd left the planet, so had come in late to the conversation  
"She was gone all night"  
"She probably just found a rabbit"  
"Her fur was damp... Coran, didn't you say that planet was devoid of water?"  
"Right you are, Keith"  
"Which means she was off getting into trouble"  
"She seems happy enough"  
"Maybe she's been raiding the supplies?"  
"Don't even joke about that, Pidge"  
"Why don't you follow her?"  
"Because following a magical disappearing space wolf is just that easy"  
Lance didn't even realise what he'd said until it'd slipped out. Allura had been asking a simple question  
"Wow Lance, someone's salty"  
"Lance, you didn't need to be rude to Allura like that"  
"I'm sure Lance has his reasons"  
No! Why was Allura making it sound like she deserved it...  
"That's not what I meant..."  
"It's fine, Lance"  
"Way to bring down a mood. Wanna play "eye-spy?""  
"No, you cheat"  
"I do not cheat! You just can't match my level of intellect!"  
"Oh I beg to differ, Katie"  
"Are you challenging me, Matt?"  
"I just might be"  
"Bring it on!"  
Someone groaned, but Lance didn't want to hear it. Cutting the transmission, he pulled out his Bayard, activating it. Staring at the blade, he placed it in his palm, balancing it while sighing. He'd suffered with depression for years, even before presenting, but he'd never hit a low like this. Each time he'd felt low, he'd always forced himself to carry on, but if he was leaving them all, what was the point? He'd never tried to hurt himself intentionally, outside of punching the occasional wall or door, but maybe that's what he needed. Inside Red, he was safe. His emotions numbed to some degree by their mental link. Maybe that was why he was feeling so disconnected? He just wanted to feel something other than depressed, and pain... that wasn't sadness.

With his shirt hiked up, and his pants unbuttoned, Lance had his bottom teeth captured between his lip as he stared down at his right hip bone. He'd always been so gangly. Too tall to be an attractive omega, and his curves were barely existent. Pressing his blade to his hip, he hissed as he nicked the skin, and drop of blood rushed to form. Shit... he'd actually... he didn't want to do this... yanking the blade back, the tip caught on his hip bone, cutting through his skin for a good inch and a half before he even realised what he'd done. He'd never been great with a blade, but now he'd panicked uselessly and done the very thing he'd decided not to. Blood poured from the wound while Lance cursed himself. Pressing his hand firmly to the site, he forced himself up, gritting his teeth as he stumbled into the cargo hold. Leaving bloody hand prints across his supplies, he finally found his first aid kit. Who the quiznak thought letting him a blade was a good idea? It took him nearly half a varga to dress the stupid wound because the bleeding didn't want to stop, and then his pants rubbed against the gauze, making him yelp each time he tried to move. The others would love this. He'd hit the bottom, tried to hurt himself, scared himself out of it... only for him to hurt himself and get blood all over the place. Such a quiznakking idiot.

When they landed for lunch Lance stayed in Red. It wasn't like he'd planned on getting out anyway. Yipping to announce her arrival, storm appeared in his lap... like he didn't notice the sudden weight of a space wolf  
"You're back? You know Keith isn't going to like this. You're already in trouble for last night"  
Storm didn't care, bouncing around the cockpit  
"You don't care at all. You know, I'm not staying with the team when we get back to Earth... you should go make... Gargh!"  
Landing back in his lap, Storm's paws came down solidly on his hip, sliding the dressing and making him scream. Yipping, Storm looked guilty, jumping down to the floor and lowering herself to her stomach, before looking up to him sadly  
"It's alright. This is my fault. Just no more playing for today, go back to Keith"  
Storm blinked at him, looking guilty before disappearing and leaving him feeling like a dick. He'd have to find something good for her to eat later as he didn't want to lose his only "friend".

Over the next few quintants Storm would come to stay with him at night, not listening when he said to go back. Tonight they were on a particularly lush planet, Shiro having requested they all be present, though Lance may have kind of missed why as he'd been busy trying to ignore their happy voices. Gathering up two ration packs, Lance sighed at Red  
"I guess I'll be back... thanks for putting up with me girl. I really love you"  
Red didn't like him talking like this was the end, her tendrils gripping his mind harder  
"Red, we still have a way to go. It'll be fine. They probably won't even talk to me"  
Red hadn't loved how depressed he was, but she understood he'd died and that he was still struggling as she was too, so had been willing to give him a free pass. What she didn't like was the rest of the team, especially after Pidge had pounded so rudely on her door. Her Paladin was a wreck and she didn't understand why they hadn't noticed or helped him. Her love was making saying goodbye to her all that much harder.

With his two ration packs, Lance wandered down to the campfire being built by Krolia and Coran. The pair had really hit it off by the seems of it. He hadn't even reached the makeshift seating when Storm was jumping on him, sending his already unsteady form flying backwards onto his arse she licked at his face, yipping happily  
"Get of you silly girl!"  
"Yorak! Off!"  
Oh... so her name was Yorak?! He liked Storm better  
"She's fine!"  
"He knows better. Get over here!"  
Oh... so the wolf was a he and named Yorak... who was he to start calling it a "her" or "Storm". Yipping, Yorak vanished off of him, reappearing beside Keith, briefly nuzzling his hand before reappearing back across Lance's lap  
"Come on, let me goooo"  
Running a slobbering tongue up his face, Yorak was practically smirking, knowing he wasn't going to kick him off  
"We need firewood. Why don't you take Lance for a walk?"  
So he needed walking? Not the mysterious space wolf? Thanks for that Shiro  
"Shiro, you should be resting"  
"Keith, I'm fine. Why don't you help Romelle while Lance collects the firewood"  
So Shiro thought Romelle was a good match for Keith... he had no chance. Not that either alpha would have ever looked at him anyway... they thought him a beta like Pidge and Hunk, while Allura and Coran didn't have a secondary dynamic  
"I could go with Lance..."  
"No! No. Just stay here. Yorak, you stay here too"  
Yorak looped around him, wiggling and yipping at him, ignoring his words  
"You can have both these ration packs if you stay here"  
Yorak looked torn, but Lance shook the two packs before holding them out, the wolf taking them gently  
"Good boy. I'll be back, so just stay here"

Trotting back to Keith, Romelle had already walked to his side, the girl blushing as her hand brushed Keith's arm. Yeah. He couldn't do this. He had to get the firewood and get the fuck out of this situation... dusting himself off, he turned to look at the forest to the left of them. It didn't look terribly appealing, but it did look like a good place to get lost for a few vargas. Maybe they'd even forget he was there? Or some big beast would come and eat him... suddenly the strange lush foliage was looking a whole lot more appealing. Hiding his limp by gritting his teeth, Lance started towards the forest.

 

*  
Regretfully returning to the camp when he'd gathered enough wood to fill his arms, Lance placed the pile beside the pit, while Krolia and Coran immediately went about stacking it, building a tent of small kindling below the large pieces to ensure air flow. Once the wood was stacked in the pit, Lance realised how pitifully small the amount he'd brought back actually was. If Keith or Shiro had gone, the pile probably would have been triple the amount... enough to last the whole night, and not just a few vargas. Once again he found his best wasn't good enough, and was sure the laughing coming from Matt and Hunk was due to his pathetic failure. It really wasn't a good feeling  
"Lance?"  
Jumping as Keith suddenly appeared in front of him, Lance shook his head  
"Sorry. I couldn't carry it all back at once. I'll go get the rest"  
Keith frowned, but Lance didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear the criticism from the alpha that had stolen his heart so many phoebs ago  
"Yorak, go with him"  
"It's fine. He's your wolf, he should stay here"  
"Lance..."  
"I said it's fine. I can do this on my own"  
Retreating before Keith could see the sweat pouring off him, or smell the stink of his infected hip, Lance forced himself to keep breathing as he walked away. Keith hadn't even given him a second glance when he'd returned, instead he'd just brushed him aside. While the whole Lotor thing had kind of been an emergency, to be rejected by the alpha you'd been pining for... it hurt. Especially on the back of the Allura thing. So to his paranoid mind, the only thing Keith could possibly want to tell him was that he was pathetic failure who couldn't even gather firewood properly. With tears in his eyes and something oozing down his leg from his hip, Lance plunged back into the forest, still equally annoyed and relieved something hadn't jumped out and eaten him alive.

Gathering larger logs this time, Lance was struggling as he carried them back to camp. Each breath hurt, the sweat running down his face and into his eyes stung, and he was so light headed that he could barely stand, yet he carried the pile over to the others, placing it down next to Coran as he seemed the safest option. Looking up from where he was sitting, Hunk held up the two ration packs he'd gifted Yorak  
"Dude, I know you're hungry, but you can't just eat two packs at once. We just don't have the resources"  
All eyes went to him, Lance hoping they take the redness in his face as a flush of embarrassment and not sickness. He couldn't tell them the truth, that he still had most of his ration packs... not when he was supposed to be nearly out, like the rest of them  
"I... didn't know what I felt like"  
"They're the same flavour"  
Pidge giggled  
"You didn't even bother checking, did you? You were totally going to eat both of them"  
"Lance, Hunk is right. We need to be more careful with our rations. Coran has already been scanned a suitable planet to resupply at, but that is still a whole movement away..."  
"What Allura's trying to say is, we don't want to hear you complaining because you've eaten all your food"  
No one backed him up. No one joked how it'd been a mistake... or anything... they all just silently agreed with Pidge, turning to look back at the fire, and leaving Keith staring at him until he took the two packs back from Hunk. Whatever. He'd just feed Yorak later. As Shiro started asking Coran about the planet they'd been replenishing their supplies at, Lance crept back to Red. The omega forced to crawl up her mouth ramp because his stupid legs didn't want to work. Was he really such a bad person? He'd always tried his hardest for the team, so why were they all being so cold and distant? Scolding himself for being selfish, he dragged himself into the cargo bay and back into his bed, before tearing open both ration packs for Yorak. He obviously didn't deserve them.


	2. Chapter 2

Sooo. He might be in some serious trouble here. Having finally stopped on a planet with water safe for bathing, the first thing Lance had wanted to do was plunge into the water. His body felt disgusting, and just wiping his body down wasn't doing it for him. He wanted a bath, preferably hot with bubbles, but he'd take a cold lake and bar of soap it that mean he could actually feel clean. The only probably was, he couldn't go for said bath until everyone else had. His hip was a mess. He'd tried to open the wound to drain it, but the secondary cut he'd placed was now just as infected, and any relief he'd felt from draining the wound was way too short lived. Red's cargo bay was a mess, he'd thrown up across his blankets, and his clothes...even poor Yorak had copped a face of projectile vomit and hadn't been back since... things were not well in his world. Pidge had tried complaining that he should take Kaltenecker back because he was flying alone and had the most space, but Kaltenecker had bonded with Romelle, and Romelle seemed to love her just as much. He should be happy to know she was in good hands, but it felt like his last "responsibility" had been taken from him. No one else had known how to milk her, Allura and Coran revolted at the thought, but Romelle had figured it out all on her own. His help not needed in the slightest.

Waiting half the night, Lance finally crept from Red, his ruined blankets and clothes piled up in his hold. It was definitely now too cold for any sane person to be bathing, which made it perfect. Making it to the river, he dropped the whole lot on the shore line, before stripping down to his boxer briefs and wading it. The water so cold it took his breath away, but there was definitely no turning back.

With his sheets and clothes drying artistically over Red's paw, Lance was shaking uncontrollably. His lips and fingers tinged blue, his core body temperature so low, he swore he could feel his internal organs turning into ice cubes, and despite having his towering robe and a pair of his uniform pants on, he just couldn't warm... he has no choice. He'd have to be social... though it only seemed to be Yorak, Romelle, Shiro, Krolia and Keith by the fire, they were a family unit that he had no right to disturb. But he was so fucking cold. Whispering, he prayed this would work   
"Yorak! Yorak, come here"  
The wolfs ears twitched, looking to him before blinking over to him  
"Hey boy. I need a tiny favour. I need a reason to go sit by the fire, but I don't have one. Can you held me?"  
Yorak nuzzled his hand, pressing up against his palm as they moved towards the fire, the wolf making sure his hand never left its head, supporting him more than he cared to admit  
"Yorak! Are you being a pest again? Sorry Lance, you didn't need to bring him back"  
"It's fine, he's fine"  
Nudging his side, Yorak pushed him forward towards Keith and the tiny bit of space beside him... which Romelle was inching into. Unable to catch his legs, Lance fell hard. throwing his right arm to stop himself, but unable to support his palm skidded, his hand brushing burning embers as his sleeve caught on fire as he screamed. This wasn't quite what he had in mind when it came to warming up... there was a whole mini-eternity before Keith yelled his name  
"Lance!"  
A set of strong hands ripped the towelling robe off, while another lifted him. Instinctively pulling his burning arm towards himself, he whimpered pitifully   
"River. He needs cold water on the at burn"  
"No... no... put me down"  
He was sobbing. Keith was holding him. His crush was actually holding him. He felt so nice and warm... way too nice and warm  
"Lance..."  
"Put me down. Put me down... I'm sorry... I'm sorry"

"What happened?!"  
That was Allura   
"It's fine! Lance hurt himself, but we're taking care of it!"  
"Lance hurt himself?!"  
"Shut up Pidge! Get to his lion and get his first aid kit out!"  
"No... no, it's ok. It's ok, please!"  
"Lance, calm down"  
"I'll take care of it. Please, please just let me do this myself"  
"Lance. Stop"

Carried to the edge of the river, Keith sat him down on the edge   
"Hold your arm out"  
"I can do it. You should go back to the others"  
"Lance"  
"Please just go back to the others"  
"I had to get my first aid kit! His was empty and Red is a mess"  
Jogging down to join them, Lance turned away from Pidge, placing his arm under the cold water, which was probably way too cold to actually be good for it  
"It's fine. Just go away"  
"Lance?"  
Hadn't he wanted them to care?! But now he actually had someone being kind to him, he couldn't stand it  
"I said it's fine! Just go away!"  
"Hey! Don't yell at Keith!"  
"Pidge... can you get him a blanket?"  
"He washed all of his"  
"Then get one from Black, he's freezing"  
"Fiiiiiine"  
Lance shook his head. He was still stupidly crying as his bottom lip trembled   
"No... I'm ok"  
"Lance, you're not ok. Here, keep your arm still"

Jumping as Yorak reappeared across his lap, Lance buried his face in the wolfs fur, nuzzling against it so he didn't have to look or talk to Keith  
"Take your arm out"  
Sniffling, Lance let Keith take his arm, Yorak growling at his owner as Lance was forced to turn  
"Yorak. No. He seems to like you..."  
Pidge came running back down, acting like she'd just run a marathon and not maybe a hundred metres   
"I've got a blanket! Hunk said he'd finish up here, so you can go back"  
"No. I've got this. Can you give Lance and I some space?"  
"Oooooh. Someone's in trouble"  
"Pidge, please. Lance is seriously burnt. It's not the time for jokes"  
"What happened? Did he throw himself in?"  
"Yorak knocked him over"  
"Oh this is gold!"  
"Pidge, this isn't funny. He's going to need actual medical assistance... can you get Allura?"  
"No... please not Allura. It's ok... it's ok"  
"Lance"  
"It's ok! Please!"  
"You've got some pretty serious burns from your wrist up to your elbow, and across you palm"  
"It's fine... I can dress them..."  
"Oh my god. Stop complaining"  
Lance flinched away. He was trying not to be a burden. He'd told Keith to leave him alone. He already knew Romelle, Krolia and Shiro would be standing back watching, probably whispering about him  
"Pidge, thank you for the blanket, but you need to go"  
"Ugh. Just don't stay up too late. We have to leave early tomorrow"

Left alone on the river bank, Keith wrapped the blanket around his shaking frame, Lance still hiding his face against Yorak  
"I feel like I haven't seen you in days. What's going on?"  
"Nothing. I've just been sleeping and stuff..."  
"Then why was Red a mess? And why are your medical supplies empty?"  
Lance whimpered as Keith spread something over his burnt arm  
"Sorry. We can risk it getting infected"  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine. Don't think I haven't noticed"  
"Noticed what?"  
"The way you've been avoiding everyone. You look sick. Are you sick?"  
"N-no... you're imagining things bud. I'm fine"  
"Lance, I need to know if you're sick. We've been lucky not to be attacked, but the empire is chaos and it's only matter of time before Sendak comes for us"  
Right. Voltron. Keith was only asking because they might need to form Voltron... he didn't actually care about him. Pulling against Keith's hold on his arm, he sniffled, trying to force a lightness into his voice  
"It's nothing"  
"Lance..."  
"Saying my name doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter. I can take care of this, you should go back to Shiro and your mum. He's right. You and Romelle look good together"  
"Why would you even bring that up? And stop moving"  
"I... I just think you two look good together... sorry"  
Lance's heart fell. He felt physically sick... no? He was actually going to be sick  
"Yorak, off!"  
Yorak whined, but still disappeared, reappearing with a splash, as Lance threw up over his right arm. Pulling him away from his own mess, Keith pressed a ridiculously soothing palm to his burning forehead   
"You have a fever"  
"It's nothing"  
"It's not nothing. Stop saying that"  
"Please Keith. Just let me go back to Red"  
"Lance, I'm trying to talk to you. Why won't you just talk to me? Is it something I did? Was it because I was gone for so long?"  
"Why would it have been something you did?"  
"Because you haven't done anything wrong, but you're avoiding everyone. You're not talking to us, you don't even join in joining our group conversations..."  
Why would he? Every time he opened his mouth, he said the wrong thing. If everything he said, thought or did was wrong, why would join in? Him saying nothing was for everyone's benefit  
"Is it because I'm older now?"  
Yes!! Well, that was part of it... he'd always been in Keith's shadow and just when he was catching up, Keith had disappeared for two years, returning with his mum, a freaking space wolf and super cute girl on his arm  
"No... you haven't done anything"  
"Then talk to me"  
"There's nothing to talk about"  
"Well... how long have you been hanging out with Yorak?"  
"A-about a movement. He doesn't leave when I tell him to... I'm sorry"  
"He wasn't like that until we came back. If he gets too much, just let me know"  
"He's fine"  
"He knocked you into the fire"  
"It's not like he meant to... I dunno. I did interrupt you guys"  
"You didn't interrupt anything"  
So falling into a fire after freezing his nether-regions off, didn't count? Pressing the gauze down gently, Keith started taping his arm  
"We'll need to check this in the morning. You should take a couple of painkillers, and get some sleep"  
"It's fine. I'll just sleep. I'm sorry about your blanket"  
"Lance..."  
Why did Keith have to keep saying his name? And saying it so gently? It wasn't fair. Even his dulled omega side was hurting from it. Each time Keith said his name was like lighting a tiny spark of hope that shouldn't exist  
"Yorak, come"  
Wading out the water, Yorak shook himself off before sitting down beside Keith   
"Go back to Black. I'll stay with Lance tonight"  
"No. You should be with Shiro and your mum"  
"Not when you're clearly hurting"  
"Keith, you're the leader of Voltron. You need your rest"  
"I might be the leader of Voltron, but I'm also your friend"  
"Are you?"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Lance shook his head, pulling away from Keith again completely as he rose to his feet and let the blanket fall to the rocks  
"I'm sorry. I'll be fine"

Walking back towards camp, the others had obviously decided it wasn't enough of an emergency to warrant staying up. Shiro and Krolia had, but that was to wait for Keith, not to wait for him. With his slow pace, Keith caught up to him easily, grabbing him by his left arm and spinning him around. With the light of the fire behind him, Lance stared up at Keith's face, silently begging him to let him go  
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you... what the quiznak is that?"  
"What?"  
"On your hip! I knew you were sick. Come over here"  
"Keith, its nothing"  
When they'd been sitting on the riverbank, the blanket and Yorak had hidden it  
"You're hurt! Why didn't you say something"  
"Because it's not important!"  
"Mum, can you come grab this blanket and the first aid kit? Shiro, you can head back to Black. Lance, hold still"  
"Would you just stop it! Seriously! Nothing is wrong! Just go back to Shiro and mum and Romelle and leave me the fuck alone!"  
"Why would I leave you the fuck alone!? You're fucking sick! You literally just fell in a fucking fire and you're yelling that you're fine! You're not fine Lance! You're not fine!"  
"I am! Like you would even fucking care! Honestly, why the fuck did you even have to come back!? Fuck. No. That's not what I meant... just leave me alone"  
"I'm not leaving you alone"  
"Why not? Everyone else has! Don't you get it Keith, they don't want me here! You trying to help me is the last thing they want!"  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"  
"It means they'd all be happier if I was dead"

For the second time that night, Lance ended up on his arse. This time because Keith had punched him. The omega saw stars as pain flared through his hip and arm  
"Keith!"  
"Stay out of this Shiro. Lance, I don't know what's going on with you, but even as joke that's way too far"  
"Who said I was fucking joking!?"  
Keith blinked at him, biting his lip before shaking his head   
"Do you really believe that?"  
"Keith, you go ahead and take him up to Red. Right now, he needs a friend"  
"Lance?"  
Pathetically, he started crying all over again, dragging his knees to his chest as he wrapped his burnt arm protectively around his waist  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper at you, but I'm worried and you're not ok. I'm going to carry you up to Red, and then we're going to have a talk"

Keith did just that. Lifting him like he weighed nothing, Keith carried him over to Red, his lion refusing to open her mouth until Lance reached out and placed his hand on the door   
"It's ok Red. It's just Keith"  
Red wasn't happy, but he was hurting and someone was actually helping him instead of insulting him. Stepping into her cockpit, Keith wrinkled his nose, though didn't comment on the smell. Opening her cargo bay doors for them, Keith sighed, causing Lance to shrink in on himself. He was in the arms of an alpha. If Keith wanted, he could really hurt him and Lance wouldn't even stand a chance. Settling him in the corner closest to the door, Lance winced at the coldness of Red's inner wall. His anger and his little mishap with the fire had warmed him, but now he could feel he same coldness as before creeping back. He wanted to curl into Keith, but that was being too selfish  
"Keith?!"  
"Lance, its mum. I'm just going to get the first aid kit so I can take a look at your hip"  
"It's fine"  
His reply was soft and mumbled, Keith wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say anyway. Disappearing out the door, Keith was back in a matter of ticks, Yorak at his side with the discarded blanket hanging out his mouth  
"Sorry. I told him to stay, but he didn't listen"  
"He's ok... he's pretty much my only friend"  
Dropping the blanket in his lap, the wolf prodded it with his nose   
"Thanks buddy, but I shouldn't get it dirty"  
"Just use the damn blanket"  
"It's fine. Mine..."  
"You're are wet. You threw up on them. Don't even try denying it. I can smell it in the air. I wish I'd realised what was happening when Yorak came back with vomit on him. Lean forward for me"  
Wrapping the blanket around him, Keith pulled him down by his hips so he could undo Lance's pants to expose his hip properly  
"How long has it been like this?"  
"A while"  
"Jesus, Lance. Why didn't you say something?"  
"Like what?"  
"I don't know. Guys, I'm sick, we need to take a break"  
"I couldn't say that. You know everyone is looking forward to going home"  
"This is your health"  
"So what?"  
"So... we rested when Allura and Shiro needed time to recover. We could have taken the time to rest so you could"  
"No we couldn't have. You said it before. Sendak will come for us. We need to be as far away as possible"  
"Lance..."  
"Stop that"  
"Stop what?"  
"Stop saying my name like that. I can't take it. I don't want to hear it"  
"What's gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?"  
"Acting like what?"  
"Like you don't natter, and like you aren't an important member of the team"  
"I'm not... I couldn't even help Shiro..."  
"I heard you two had a rough time"  
"It's ok. I deserved it"  
"That's not true and you know it"  
"It's... I... don't want to talk about it. He already apologised. It's fine"  
"Would you stop saying it's fine"  
Lance closed his eyes, turning away from Keith. He wondered if the alpha knew how warm his hands were, or how badly his heart was racing  
"This is really bad. What happened?"  
"I don't remember"  
"You have two cuts and you don't remember how you got them?"  
"No, but it's fine"  
"You need a hospital, or a pod. Maybe Allura..."  
"Not Allura"  
"I know what happened. Allura talked to me about it. She said you two were alright?"  
"I thought we were..."  
But if Allura was running around and telling everyone, then obviously it was all a big joke   
"Then why not Allura?"  
"Because using her power drains her... we can't afford for her to be sick"  
"I'm going to drain this, it's going to hurt"  
"It's fine. I barely feel it"  
"Lance, that isn't a good thing"  
"It's just how I am now"  
"What do you mean that's how you are now? Did something else happen?"  
"Nothing important"  
Keith sighed at him again  
"Then talk to me about something else"  
"Like what?"  
"Like what's the first thing you're going to do when we get back to Earth?"  
Run. Flee. Get as far away from Keith and his crushingly good look. Go home. Find an alpha and live a boring life...  
"I don't know. We'll have to talk to the Galaxy Garrison. Then they'll be picking a new crew for the castle... and there'll be meetings..."  
"What's the first thing you're going to do for yourself?"  
Fold his uniform and leave it with his communicator and helmet neatly on Red's chair...  
"I want to watch the sunrise over the ocean"  
"That's not much of a wish"  
"That's all I want to do. Just watch the sun come up over the waves. What are you going to do?"  
"Mum wants to visit dad's grave"  
What was he supposed to say to that? Hissing as Keith's blade reopened his wounds, Keith placed a hand on his stomach to hold him in place   
"You've lost weight"  
"No. You just got bigger"  
"Do you hate me for it?"  
"How could I?"  
"I left and you were hurt"  
"You had to perform your mission"  
Besides. Keith could have called if he'd really wanted to...  
"But... you and the others..."  
"What about them?"  
"It feels like something's changed"  
"Keith, nothing's changed"  
"Pidge is always being mean to you, and Hunk doesn't... he barely talks to you..."  
The most Hunk had talked to him was to tell him not to eat two ration packs  
"I should talk to them"  
"Please don't. It's better this way"  
"How is this better? Red didn't even want to let me in. We couldn't form Voltron right now, even if we wanted to"  
"They made their choices, and I just want to be alone"  
"That's not like you. You're usually the first to make a joke, or flirt or tell some crazy story... what happened?"  
"I woke up to myself and realised how stupid I was... am"  
"You're not stupid"  
"I was never supposed to be a Paladin. Red and I both know it now"  
"That's not true"  
"I don't want to talk about it"

Keith finished cleaning and redressing the wound silently, even going to the bother of stitching it before slathering it in a thick layer of antibacterial cream  
"Have you eaten today?"  
"Maybe. I don't remember"  
"You need to eat. I can't give you painkillers without food"  
"I don't need them"  
"Your body says otherwise. You've got a fever, and an infection, and a burn, and by the looks of it you're also malnourished... where are your ration packs?"  
"Somewhere down the back..."  
"Stay here. Yorak, make sure he doesn't move"  
Yorak yippee, dropping down into Lance's lap and nosing at his left hand  
"You're a dirty rotten traitor"  
"I'm surprised by how much he likes you. I thought he was just spending the nights with Romelle"  
"So it's not just Shiro who thinks you should date her"  
"Don't say that. It's complicated"  
"If you like her, what makes it so complicated?"  
"She's got a lot going on"  
Lance snorted to himself. Didn't they all. In the back of Red, Keith rustled around, finally groaning and marching back over to him  
"Lance, how long has it been since we left Olkarion?"  
"Um... two movements?"  
"It's been 3, nearly 4. We were given ration packs for a whole phoeb. Two meals a day. How long is a phoeb?"  
"There's like 8 quintants to a movement and like 4 movements to a phoeb? I don't know. Just make your point already"  
"You still have over half your ration packs. That means there are days you haven't been eating, and there are days when you've only had one meal"  
"I'm just not hungry..."  
"What about the other day? What happened to those two ration packs?"  
"I..."  
"You what?"  
Keith looked to Yorak   
"You gave them to him"  
"Well... with what Hunk said, I just didn't think I had a right to eat"  
"That's not ok!"  
"I'm not hungry"  
"I don't care. What about bottled water?"  
"I don't know..."  
"Yorak. Water"  
Yorak disappeared from his lap, before reappearing a few ticks later with a bottle of water   
"You're going to sip this, while you eat this ration pack, and then you're going to get some rest"  
"You should go..."  
"Nope. Not tonight. Tonight I'm going to make sure you sleep"  
"Keith..."  
"Lance..."  
"You don't have to watch me"  
"Well someone has to..."  
Lance cringed   
"I didn't mean it like that. I mean it like, I'm your friend and I want to make sure you're ok"  
"If you were really my friend, you'd go back to Black and just forget this happened"  
"That doesn't exactly sound very friendly"  
"You said everyone else was my friend, but isn't that exactly what they've done?"  
Keith scowled at him, sitting down and opening a ration pack before getting two painkillers out the first aid kit  
"I don't care what they're doing. I'm staying here. Now eat"

Lance's fever worsened during the night, he woke to Keith shaking his shoulders as his whole body twitched and spasming uncontrollably. His skin was burning, and he could feel that he'd thrown up during his sleep. Dimly he was aware that Keith wasn't alone, but his brain felt like it was literally boiling in his skull, so he really couldn't be sure. Gripping him by the chin, Keith forced him to look at him  
"I've got you. You're going to be ok"  
"Keith, what are you going to do?"  
That was Krolia? He thought it was Krolia, but before he chase the thought it was gone  
"I'm going to take him ahead in Black. Tell the others to wait here. Yorak. Stay"  
Lifting him off the floor, Lance whined for his alpha as Keith balanced him on his knee, wrapping the blanket tightly around him. Not even pausing to process the fact Lance had actually whined, Keith gathered him up to his chest with Lance's head over his heart  
"Do you need help?"  
"No. Stay with the others. Don't tell them what happened, only that we'll be back"  
Lance wanted to tell Keith he was grateful. He wanted to thank him for reaching out his hand, and for being his friend. Instead his eyes rolled back as he started to spasm and seize in Keith's arms.

 

*  
Waking up, Lance couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so good. He actually felt refreshed, and rather than sleeping on the hard floor of Red's cargo bay, his back was on something soft and warm. As his eyes fluttered open, he realised he wasn't in Red. He was in a bed... in a room... with no idea how he go here... it might not have been the first time in his life this had happened, but he had a horrible feeling he wasn't going to like finding out why he was here. Wiping his face with his hand, he wince at the pulling sensation through his arm. His eyes widening at the sight of bandages across his hand and disappearing into the long shirt he was wearing   
"Lance?"  
Blinking in confusion, Keith moved to sit on the edge of his bed. He looked exhausted   
"You look like shit"  
"Thanks. You on the other hand are looking better. How do you feel?"  
"Alright, I guess. Do I want to know what happened?"  
"You... Sepsis had set in because of your hip. You've been in hospital for the last movement"  
"I... fuck..."  
"Yep. You scared the hell out of me, but I'm so relieved you're awake"  
"Where are the others?"  
"They're not here. It just the two of us"  
"What? Why?"  
"Because after how they treated you. How we all treated you, they didn't have the right to be here"  
"Keith, you're making a big deal out of nothing"  
"How can you say it's over nothing! You nearly died Lance. You stopped breathing!"  
Keith was shaking, his hair falling across his face and shoulders, leaving Lance feeling stupid and very small. Pulling his knees to his chest, he rested his chin on them  
"I'm sorry. I didn't expect anyone to care... or care enough to stay"  
"No. This is my fault. I should noticed it sooner"  
"How is me being sick your fault? You've had other things to worry about"  
"That's beside the point. I... I already lost Shiro, I can't lose you too"  
"Aw mullet, I knew you cared"  
"Mullet, really?"  
"You're not short and broody anymore. It's all I've got. Soooo, where are we? And how long do I have to wait before I can get out of here?"  
"We're on that trade planet. The doctors hit the infection with high doses of their version of antibiotics, and its cleared your system. We've just been waiting for you to wake up. They said you've healed internally, but your mind needs the rest"  
"You could have gone back to the others"  
"I honestly don't know what to say to them"  
"Hi? My names Keith? I like to randomly kidnap people in the middle of the night?"  
Keith shot him a half-glare  
"They're all valid points... I suppose we should get out of here as soon as possible..."  
"No, you need to rest"  
"You just said I'm ok"  
"Your arms still healing, and so is your stomach"  
"Oh... it doesn't hurt, if that helps?"  
"It doesn't make me feel any better"  
Lance wanted to scoot over and make space so Keith could lay beside him. He didn't like seeing Keith beating himself up. He'd tried his best to help... and he was the only one to actually try. But if he asked, Keith might take it the wrong way, and he didn't want to lose the maybe friendship they were forming   
"So we're stuck here?"  
"For the next few quintants. Until you've eaten, showered, and the doctors clear your burns"  
"Are they really that bad?"  
"They did what they could, but the robe had melted into your skin in places... I'm so sorry Lance. If Yorak hadn't leapt on you"  
"Keith... it wasn't your fault"  
"He's my wolf"  
"If... if I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad"  
"I won't be mad"  
"I... I waited until everyone else had baths, so I could clean my clothes and sheets... then... you guys hadn't gone to bed and I was so cold. I called Yorak so I'd have a reason to warm up by the fire. I didn't want to interrupt you..."  
Shit. He was barely awake, but now he was crying...  
"Lance, you could have just come over"  
"How?! No one wants me around! You, your mum, Romelle and Shiro all look so good together. I couldn't interrupt that!"  
"You could have..."  
"No. I don't... I barely even have a place around you guys as it is..."

There was a soft knock on the door, before a kind of normal looking alien walked in. He wasn't quite as outlandish as some of the races they'd met, but his four eyes weren't exactly normal  
"Lance, it's an honour to meet you Red Paladin of Voltron. My name is Eh'lee and it is a pleasure to see you awake"  
Who says that? Honestly? A pleasure? It was hardly a pleasure to meet him  
"Uh... nice to meet you too"  
"Your friend here has been very concerned about you. Has he filled you in?"  
"A little bit. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble"  
"No trouble. Keith, would you be so kind as to step aside. I need to check Lance's wounds"  
Climbing off the bed, he thought Keith would back off completely. Instead the alpha simply walked around the bed and placed his hand on Lance's shoulder   
"It's ok. He's not going to hurt you"  
"Thanks mum"  
"I'll start with your stab wound, if that's alright?"  
Lance nodded, forcing his legs back out straight as the doctor pulled back the blanket... oh... he wasn't wearing underwear, and apparently modesty wasn't a thing here. Moving his hand to cover his junk, his face burned in shame. Keith didn't need to see him naked. Gently pulling back the dressing, Lance was shocked to find it mostly healed... apart from two angry looking scars  
"Does this hurt?"  
Poking around the area, Lance shook his head. There was the tiniest bit of pain, but nothing he thought worth mentioning   
"Excellent. Our herbs our some of the best in this quadrant of the galaxy"  
"They've done an amazing job"  
"You're too kind. Now your arm?"  
Readjusting the blankets, Keith sat down next to him, his friend taking his hand. Well that wasn't a good sign. Unwrapping the bandages, Lance nearly fainted. His arm looked horrific... it wasn't like open and weeping blisters and sores, but there was a lot of scarring  
"I'm sorry we couldn't do more. This is all purely cosmetic, you will have full function in your arm and hand, though you may find you feel a tugging or pulling sensation as the skin moves. I will be sending you home with some cream to remove much of the scarring, but there is only so much we can do. Do you understand?"  
"Yeah. Thank you... um... when can I get out of here?"  
"Once you have showered and eaten a full meal, I have no problems with releasing you. Keith has already mentioned that the other Paladins will be joining you next movement, so I would like to see you again then"  
"So I just eat and take a shower... and I can go?"  
"Provided you take it easy, and return for a check up soon"  
Keith tensed next to him, obviously going to object, but something else came to mind  
"Keith, can you give us a dobosh. I have a couple of things I would like to ask Eh'lee about"  
"Are you sure? I don't mind staying"  
"It's fine. You said he's a good guy and this won't take long"  
"Alright. I'll be in the hall. Call me if you need me"  
Keith didn't look happy as he left, Lance waiting for the door to close before looking to Eh'lee the alien man staring down at him... all four eyes blinking every few fractions of a tick  
"Um... I want to thank you for helping me"  
"No thanks is required"  
"No. It really is. You can probably tell I wasn't exactly taking care of myself... and stuff... I'm... um... can I ask you something?"  
"Are you not?"  
"Touché"  
Eh'lee looked confused   
"Sorry. It's an Earth thing. I... I was wondering if you could give me something to help me sleep?"  
"You have bad dreams"  
It was a statement, and Lance really hoped he hadn't been freaking out in his sleep  
"I died and I came back to life, and I've been having problems sleeping since. I... I think I'm scared... because when I died, it was just blankness"  
"Because you do not sleep, you cannot heal"  
"And I need to heal. I need to be able to keep protecting people. I don't need a lot. Maybe like a movement of two' worth. Just something to help me sleep when I can't"  
"I will help. We have herb that gives dreamless sleep. You will wake refreshed"  
A dreamless sleep wasn't exactly appealing, but it was more appealing than nightmares   
"Thank you. That would be awesome. Can I also ask you not to tell my friend? He worries too much"  
"He cares for you"  
"We're just friends..."  
"If you say. I will bring you change of clothes. There is a shower facility through that door"  
Pointing across the room at a door he hadn't even noticed, Lance nodded   
"Thank you"  
"Take a shower and then you shall eat"

Eh'lee left him, their conversation ending awkwardly, or at least to Lance it felt awkward about it. The moment the man disappeared, Keith came walking back through the door  
"Is everything alright?"  
"Yeah. I guess I just wanted to thank him... he said I could go ahead and shower. That's probably why he left the dressings off"  
"Oh. Right. Do you need help?"  
"Pervert. I know how to take a shower"  
"I didn't mean it like that"  
"Sure you didn't... I'll have to tell Romelle to keep an eye on you"  
Keith spluttered while Lance's heart broke a little more. Before he could reply, Lance climbed from the bed, his legs shaky after his movement long nap   
"Don't go looking at my arse"  
"Lance, I can promise you, I never want to look at your arse"  
That one felt like a slap a shot of horror to chase it down. He could feel his omega. Like really feel it. He hadn't felt it like this since that shot before entering the Garrison. Fuck! He was running out of time. Once the medication had run its full course, he'd revert back to the lowly omega he was  
"Everything ok?"  
"What? Yeah. I feel great. Eh'lee said he'd bring some clothes and food, and then we get out of here!"  
Keith didn't look too sure about that, but who was he to argue with the man?!

Showering was pain free, though he couldn't wash his back properly. Indulging in all the bottles in the bathroom, he felt amazing when he reappeared with a towel around his face. On his bed were his clothes, all nice and neat, not a trace of vomit or anything else remaining on them   
"Screw Earth. I might just stay here"  
"Why would you stay here?"  
"They feed me, and they do my washing... obviously. Now close your eyes or go outside or something"  
Walking over to the door, Keith stood in the doorway, glaring at it  
"Lance, do you not want to go home?"  
Ditching the towel, Lance slid his underwear on, humming before replying  
"Of course I do"  
"You just don't seem as happy about it as I thought you would"  
"Trust me, the sooner we get to Earth, the better"  
Next came his uniform pants   
"It's just... I'm still trying to understand what happened while I was away"  
"You know what happened... fuck..."  
His arm cramped as he tried to slide the shirt provided on. He would have been "stuck" if Keith didn't "help" him. He honestly could have done it alone   
"Thanks man. You're acting weird"  
"You're the one who's anxious to get back to everyone"  
"Because the longer we make them wait, the angrier they'll be"  
"Then they can wait"  
Climbing back onto the bed, Lance crossed his legs  
"You can't say that"  
"Why not?"  
"Because you're the leader of Voltron"  
"And?"  
"And you can't have a tantrum over everything you don't like"  
"I'm not having a tantrum. I'm trying to figure out how best to proceed"  
"You should have just left me behind"  
"There it is again! Spill. What else don't I know about?!"  
"There's nothing else..."  
"Lance, I think we're past this"  
"Really? Because I don't want to talk about it! It's not going to change anything and all I want to do is go back home to Earth!"  
Keith ran his fingers through his hair, pausing to take a breath  
"I guess... what I really want to know is how we ended up here?"  
"Well, I got cut. It got infected. I fell in a fire and you saved me"  
"But what did you even get cut on?! There wasn't anything sharp in Red... and I can't remember anything that would have caused a knife wound like that... did one of the others..."  
"No. It wasn't them..."  
"Did you... Lance, did you..."  
"It was an accident. It happened by accident. I didn't want to tell anyone because Pidge says I complain too much, and I already feel stupid enough"  
"You didn't hurt yourself..."  
"I thought about it, but I couldn't do it..."  
Keith sank down on the end of the bed, burying his face in his hands. He'd just ruined any sort of friendship with the alpha... and tears rolled down his face as he forced himself to eat the meat and vegetable dish in front of him  
"Lance, what can I do to help?"  
"There's nothing you can do. There's things I need to work out for myself. I just... I need space and I need time"  
"But space and time are hurting you"  
"It's what I need... things change Keith. No matter how much you don't want them to, they still do. I've changed..."  
And now Keith had changed so much, Lance would never be able to catch him. He'd never be able to say "Hey, I got a sword and I've been practicing", because Keith had two more years on him. Two more years to get even better than him. All his effort to try and catch up so maybe one day he could tell Keith his feelings had been for absolutely nothing.

Eh'lee left them alone for the next varga, in the same awkward silence that filled the room while Lance has forced himself to eat. Handing him both some kind of cream and powder to dissolve on his tongue at night, Lance was discharged from the hospital. Walking outside its doors, the omega was blinded by how bright and colourful the world around him was. It reminded him so much of the markets back home that it actually hurt  
"Do you need to do any shopping before we go back?"  
"No. It's ok"  
"Lance... it's just us. We can check the markets out"  
"You've never liked markets. You don't have to try for my sake. We both know I still have food back in Red"  
"God! I mean for you. Is there anything you want to buy that you won't because the others are around?!"  
"Maybe something for my family..."  
"Alright then. We should pick up some extra food to take back..."  
"Do we need to?"  
"I flew out here at full speed in Black, but travelling at the space we've been going at, that planet is three quintants away..."  
"Right. Sorry"  
"You don't need to say sorry"  
"I do. I've been nothing but a burden to you"  
"Lance..."  
"No. Just let me... ever since I joined the Garrison, I was always chasing after you. I couldn't match your grades. I couldn't match your skills. I was only promoted because you were kicked out. Finding Blue, I had no idea how to pilot her, but you were all fast to point out how bad I did. I started this stupid rivalry all because I wanted to catch up to you... And then... when you found Red, you made it look so easy. You're an amazing shot and you're amazing with a sword. You understand Pidge and Hunk, and no matter how much I annoyed you, you still tolerated me... but all I've ever done is hold everyone back. Pidge doesn't talk to me. I'm not Hunk's best friend anymore. Coran and Allura won't look at me because of that who feelings thing. Shiro wasn't Shiro and every time something went wrong, I was to blame. You were one my one friend... and I was really excited you were coming back, but once again, you're ahead of me. You're now at a level I know I'll never catch up to. Even you bringing me out here. You had to leave your mum. You had to bring me here instead of getting closer to home... all I do is drag everyone down, and Keith I'm so tired. I just want to go home. I just want to be alone. I'm tired of living in the past and trying to fix relationships that are broken. We can't go back to how we were. It's just not possible..."  
"You're not a burden"  
"Then tell me what I'm good at!"  
Screaming in the middle of the market place was not his plan, but he'd just spilled his guts to Keith, and Keith wasn't getting it  
"Lance..."  
"There's not a thing in this whole universe I'm good at. I let Allura be hurt by Lotor! I let Shiro sit in that darkness for phoebs! He died! He lost an arm and he died! And I didn't even help him! I can't do this! I can't do anything right!"  
Sinking down to his knees, Lance buried his face in his hands, sobbing earnestly   
"Lance, you're fine the way you are. You are not a burden"  
"I am. I just want to go home... why can't I just go home?"  
Pulling him up by his arm, Keith wrapped his own arm him  
"We're going home..."  
"I want to go back to Red... I don't want to see the others"  
"Alright... but you're going to have to talk to them eventually"  
"And say what? There's nothing left to say Keith. I don't want them to be sad or pity me or anything like that because they've only just realised I was sick. I don't want to know. I don't want to see them... our relationships can't be fixed... if you really care about people, you don't put them through what they did. I tried to help. I asked if they needed help, but they told me I was in the way and that I was bothering them. When Hunk and Pidge were too busy to take a break to cook, I made them dinner. Hunk yelled at me for messing up his kitchen, even though I was doing the dishes. When Pidge lost her screwdriver I leant her mine and she screamed at me how she had to have hers and how I didn't understand because I'd never cared about anything in my life. When Shiro was stressed and saying he felt like something was wrong with his head, I told him to rest. He wasn't even Shiro!"  
Keith growled, his teeth showing as he did  
"I'm sorry. They're your friends. I shouldn't have said anything. I guess you being nice to me has gone to my head. We both know I'm annoying. I probably did something without realising it..."  
"Lance..."  
"No... Keith, it's ok. When we go back to the team, I'll just go back to Red. Everyone missed you. And you just got Shiro back... you should be spending time with them"  
"It's a long way back to Earth still..."  
"It's fine. Its been this way for pheobs... I'm used to it"  
"You shouldn't have to be used to it"  
"Keith. Please just don't say anything to them. I... I don't want them to hate me even more. We'll go back to team, then we'll forget all this ever happened. You can laugh and joke about how annoying I am... I don't mind"  
"For fucks sake Lance. You're not annoying"  
Lance blinked. Not expecting that. He'd just unloaded a metric ton of emotional baggage on Keith, and Keith had actually gotten mad for him... because he wasn't sharing enough? He hated how stupidly happy he was to hear that he wasn't annoying Keith. He hated how good it felt to have Keith's hand on his arm and his other one around his waist. He hated that blaming his friends had eased some of the suffocating feeling he didn't even know was still clinging to his lungs. Most of all, he hated the fact that if Keith asked anything of him right now, he wouldn't be able to say no.

Returning to Black, Keith sat him down in the cockpit chair, before squatting down in front it him and taking the medication he'd been given away   
"I know about the cream, but what about the powder?"  
"It's just enough to help with any discomfort or pain until my appointment next movement. I have to dissolve some on my tongue at night"  
"Alright. Now. I have rations in Black's cargo hold, and a bed set up in the back corner. I still need to grab some more supplies, but will you be alright here while I do?"  
Lance blinked. Right. Keith had said that and he'd went and had a tantrum instead   
"Yeah. Sorry... you go. I'll be ok"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Keith, it's ok. You don't have to mum me. I'm just going to get some sleep..."  
"Ok. I won't be too long"  
"Just don't go getting hurt... you're the only one who can get me back to Red"  
Lance offered Keith a small smile, even though his eyes were painfully red and fresh tears were rolling down his face  
"Pffft. As if. I've got all kinds of moves"  
"Of course you do. I'll be ok. You go"

Keith left, while Lance felt uncomfortable over being in Black by himself. Opening the cargo hold, his whole face lit up  
"Yorak! I thought we left you back with the others!"  
Yorak yipped running circles around him as Lance made is way over to the make shift bed in the corner... there was another on in the opposite corner, which he guessed was Shiro's, making the one closest to the door into the cockpit Krolia's. Sinking down onto Keith's blankets, he felt like he was completely invading their privacy. Nope. He couldn't do this. Rushing up and back into Black's cockpit, he sank down in the left corner near the door, Yorak climbing into his lap and dropping his head on his shoulder   
"You're a silly boy, but a good boy. I'm glad you're with me"

Lance had fallen asleep with Yorak still in his lap. Waking abruptly, he groaned as his muscles complained over being forced to moved from the awkward position he'd fallen asleep in  
"Lance, you awake?"  
Oh right. He was in Black... with Keith... after his breakdown in the market... oh fuck...  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep"  
"It's fine. We still have a little while until we reach the others"  
So they'd left the planet while he'd been sleeping... wow... Black had to be pushing some serious speeds if they were nearly back already... he really wasn't ready to face them   
"There's some fruit and water next to you, help yourself"  
"Oh... right. Thanks... Yorak, off. You drooled on me you silly puppy"  
Yorak yawned at him, climbing off his with a smug look on his face  
"I didn't expect you to fall asleep out here. You could have used the bed in the hold"  
"It's fine... I mean, it didn't feel right sleeping in there"  
"I told you it's ok"  
"Yeah, but Shiro's things and your mums things are in there and it just felt like I was invading their personal space"  
Looking to the pile beside him, Lance lifted a very non-Keith shirt off the top of the pile. The bright orange and weird squiggly pattern were absolutely ridiculous   
"Keith, did you buy me a shirt?"  
"You said you wanted something to take home... they didn't have any hats or bottle openers"  
Lance heart skipped a beat. There was no way this shirt could possibly mean the same thing to Keith as it did to him, but fuck...   
"Thanks..."  
"It's fine..."  
Grabbing a piece of alien fruit, Lance laid the shirt in his lap  
"... besides, the colours reminded me of you"  
If that wasn't a Cupid's arrow to the heart, Lance didn't know what was  
"Because it's bright and cheerful"  
"Something like that..."  
Double fuck... he needed to say something, but he had no idea what  
"I haven't told the others we're on our way back, and I won't make you talk to them if you still don't want to. But, I would like to be at your doctors appointment if that's alright?"  
"You don't have to be"  
"I know you think it's your fault..."  
"Keith, don't. I don't want pity or guilt. Not from you..."  
"Yorak was the one who knocked you over"  
"Because he gets a little bit too excited..."  
"Your arm..."  
"Will never be the same, but it's not like I'll have trouble using it. You heard what Eh'lee said. It's cosmetic damage. It's fine"  
"It's not fine"  
"A little bit of weird space cream and it'll fade"  
"It shouldn't have to fade!"  
"Keith..."  
"No. I shouldn't have snapped. You should eat and get some more rest"

 

*  
Having fake slept until Black landed to avoid the crushingly awkward silence in Black, Lance really didn't want to step foot outside the lion. Outside was the people he'd used to call friends. The people he'd loved and thought of as family. The people he was delusional enough to think cared about him back. Pulling back from Keith's side, he shook his head  
"I don't think I can do this"  
"You'll be ok"  
"I... Keith, they're going to..."  
"Anyone who says anything inappropriate will be banned from shopping at the market"  
"No! Don't do that. That will only make things worse"  
"Bullying isn't acceptable. You're panicking already over seeing them and that's not ok"  
"It's fine..."  
Holding his scarred arm across his chest, there was no way to actually hide it's contrasting pink hues. His caramel skin was just too much of a different colour  
"I've landed right next to Red. If you don't want to talk, all you have to do is walk right over to Red. I want you to keep your communicator on and call me if you need help"  
"I'll be ok"  
"Yorak. Stay with Lance. Make sure you wake him up when everyone else gets up, and you only come back to me once everyone is ready to leave"  
"Keith, you don't have to do this"  
"Would you rather Yorak or an early morning call?"  
"Y-Yorak..."  
"That's what I thought. Don't forget you need to use the cream and the powder tonight"  
"I know..."  
"You can do this"  
Lance nodded, he really wasn't sure f he even remembered how to use his legs, let alone how to walk. As Black slid her mouth open, Keith walked ahead of him, pausing half way down her ramp so he could catch up.

Waiting down the bottom, all eyes were on him. That pitiful look he so despised across their faces. Allura opened her mouth, but looked down and away. That's all he needed to reconfirmed the fact that they really didn't care. Reaching the bottom of the ramp, Lance nodded to Keith, before walking towards Red. Pidge called out his name, and Hunk went to say something, but he didn't let himself look back. Making it to Red and into her cockpit before collapsing inside   
"Red, raise your barrier. I need some space"  
Closing his eyes, he rubbed his arm as he calmed his breathing. He'd made it inside. He hadn't crumbled and gone running back to them at the slightest bit of affection. Probing into his mind, Red read all he'd been through, before teasing him lovingly over the orange shirt  
"I know. Who would have thought Keith had it in him? I'm sorry for scaring you girl. I'm doing better. Keith and I talked... things are going to change. He knows it's coming... but I don't think he fully realises I'm staying on Earth. Even if I wanted to pilot you, my arm's all kinds of messed up now. Yorak actually did me a favour... but now I have no idea what to do about my crush on Keith... no... noooo. You know Keith. You tell him you love him and he'll ask you what love is, and if you can eat it. No. Just a few more movements girl. And it's your job to keep me out of trouble. You know I have an omega side, and you can probably feel the change, but no. Don't let me make a fool of myself again. I'm going to bed. You know, he's even got Yorak here so I get up in time. He used to be as bad as me, now he's like given me his wolf as his alarm clock. Why does he have to be so freaking perfect?!"

Pushing himself back up, Lance walked through to the cargo hold, rolling his eyes at the sight   
"Red. What did I tell you about not letting people in... oh, someone had to clean up. Yeah. I forgot beautiful girl. From now on, no one but Yorak and I. I want to spend my last days with my top girl. Not my so called friends who only care when I set myself on fire"  
Folded into two small neat piles were his clothes and his blankets. His low water supplies has been topped up, and he still had the same number of ration packs as the night Keith had brought him back here. Blushing in both embarrassment and happiness over the memory of Keith touching him so gently, Lance groaned   
"Red. You don't need to encourage me. We both know how bad I have it for Keith. And both know that Allura ended up with all my misplaced feelings directed at her... I know. Well I understand now that I loved her in a completely different way to Keith. Yes. Your pilot is an idiot. Do I want to know who left all of this here? I don't know if I trust Pidge with my stuff"  
Pulling out his blankets, he shook them all before laying them out in his corner. It was no hospital bed, but it beat the corner in Black hands down  
"Just so you don't freak out. I've got to use this cream on my arm, and this stuff to help me sleep... which probably means I should put it on my tongue before putting the cream on. I don't know if it's going to mess with our bond, but it's supposed to be a dreamless sleep... I think we could both use a break from my screaming nightmares, it really hasn't been fair on you baby girl"

The powder looked like charcoal, but had an overwhelming taste of lemon. Screwing his face up, he tried to wipe it off his tongue with his teeth but it'd already dissolved  
"Oh god. No wonder you sleep soundly, it's knocks you out. Ok. That's bad... going to have to work out ratios as we go. If I fall asleep before I get to say it. Goodnight Red. I love you. And I love you too, Yorak. Even if you're laying on my legs... you could at least lay between me and the wall"  
Yorak huffed through his nose, but moved to do just that   
"Oh buddy. You are the best strange blue space wolf in the whole universe"  
Rushing through rubbing the cream over his burns, Lance curled into Yorak. Today had been such a weird day... and he'd said a lot of stupid shit... but... Keith kind of cared for him and that felt amazing.

 

*  
Keith had drawn the three quintant trip out into four. They hadn't talked face to face, but Yorak was a little shit. Stealing his clothes... mostly his socks, in the morning, before teleporting back to Keith... only for Keith to send Yorak right back to him... with one of his socks. Lance hated how much he'd laughed the first time it had happened over how proud of Yorak looked of himself, and that Keith had seemingly thought he was doing it intentially. Seated in Red, Lance's left foot was in one of his socks, while his right was in one of Keith's, and Yorak the dopey beast he was, was chewing on another sock that he kind of hoped to be Keith's. the alpha had left Yorak with them for the final few vargas until they reached that market planet.

As the planet came into view, Lance leant forward in Red. A Galra cruiser was approaching it... fuck... he'd potentially risked a whole planet by getting sick...  
"Red! We need to get to that cruiser! We're the only ones who can!"  
Red rumbled, agreeing him with completely, her pace increasing with her eagerness to kick some Galra butt  
"Yorak, the first chance you get, you go back to Keith. He'd kill me if anything happened to you"

Firing on the cruiser, it'd made landfall by the time he reached it. The others had been blowing up his comms, but it wasn't like they could form Voltron. Not with things so fractured. Firing continuously, Lance spiralled down, never letting up on his shots, before landing, positioning Red between the market streets and the cruiser. Red roared approvingly, the Galra soldiers pausing momentarily as she did  
"Red, we need to take that ship out. I know it's a lot to ask, but do you think you can pull off a really big blast for me girl? Right at the ship?"  
Red purred, Yorak yipping as he stood with his paws against the glass of Red's left eye  
"We can't let out fans down"  
Aiming for the open cargo door, Red fired, the blast impressively big as requested, as other blasts hit it from above, the ship smouldering enough for Lance to be confident the others could finish it off. He was better with his gun anyway  
"Right. I'm going in. Red, watch what I can to do"

Opening her mouth for him, Lance activated his Bayard, shooting down the wave of advancing soldiers with ease. Behind the cruiser, Black and Blue were landing, Green and Yellow arching over the sky. Switching to this sword, Yorak yipped, running along beside him as he charged down the ramp at the advancing Galra. Why had he missed this? And why did this feel so good? Dodging and weaving through the sentries, Lance felt himself smiling, sentries falling as he moved towards the ship. His blade finding their targets, and when they didn't, Yorak was happy to help. Squaring his shoulders, he looked toward the cargo ramp of the cruiser. Grabbing his hand, Yorak pulled him back, shots from Black hitting the cruiser. Fuck! Bailing back with Yorak, Lance threw himself over the wolf as the ship exploded, chaos continued to erupt around them. Peaking up once the heat over his back dissipated down, behind Red Hunk and Pidge were clearing out villagers, redirecting them away from the battle while protecting them from soldiers  
"Yorak. Watch my back and try not to get yourself shot"

Kneeling down Lance swapped his Bayard back, trailing the soldiers with his gun, taking a deep breath before firing each time. His shots finding their marks, dropping them before they could even get close to Hunk and Pidge  
"Lance! You ok!"  
Running up behind him, Keith placed his hand on his shoulder  
"I'm fine. You need to help Hunk and Pidge. I'm getting to higher ground"  
"No. You back me up. Yorak, go!"  
"Right"  
Pulling him up, Keith nodded at him, Lance switching to his blade. There was no way he was risking shoot Keith...  
"Holy Quiznak. You have a blade?"  
"Oh. Yeah. It's a broadsword... it's nothing important"  
"You have a sword. Are you... I mean, have you been practicing?"  
"Yeah, but I'm not as good as you"  
"I'm sure you're fine. It looks like there aren't that many left..."  
"Hunk and Pidge took a few. And the cruiser was mostly sentries..."  
"Lance, don't sell yourself short. You were the first to act. You save a lot of people today"  
"The day's not over"  
"Don't jinx us"  
"Since when do you say jinx?"  
"Since now"

There wasn't much work left for him to do. Yorak and Keith made an amazing team. Communicating with just a look. Within mere doboshes, every Galra soldier had been killed. Villagers pouring into the streets, chanting "Voltron", as the others dusted themselves off. Allura already moving to meet them. It was only by chance Lance caught the glint of something... actually, it was because he was avoiding looking at them and instead looked up at the sun that he did. Dropping to his knee, Lance fixed the shadowy figure in his line of sight. The Galra aiming at Allura dropped as some of the villagers screamed when the blue shot went over their heads. Allura looked at him in shock, while Lance shrugged deactivating his Bayard. Opening her mouth, Lance didn't want to hear her thank him, so turned back towards Red. She couldn't stay in the middle of the market.

 

While the others celebrated with the local population, Lance was sitting in Red. He didn't feel like he belonged down there. He'd only done his job. He didn't want thanks. He wanted to go home. His success today should have made him proud, but all it did was make him feel alienated. Anyone could have done what he did. He wasn't special. He didn't need these feelings. He didn't need to be doubting leaving the team. He didn't. He was getting back to Earth and he was moving on.

Yorak appeared just before there was a knock on Red's mouth door. There was only one person crazy enough to be bothering him was Keith. Opening the door, Keith stumbled in. The scent of alcohol and incense had Lance blinking  
"Keith, are you drunk?"  
"No. The villagers just decided we all had to eat and drink..."  
"I think you had a bit too much to drink buddy"  
"I'm fine. It was Pidge. She got excited and dumped her drink on me"  
"Shocker..."  
"Don't give me that. You should be down there celebrating. It was your win too"  
"It's fine. I was just doing my cream and stuff"  
"How does it look?"  
"It's fine"  
"Have you been putting it on properly?"  
"Keith, its fine. You can't hide here just because you don't like crowds"  
"You're onto me. I'm not here empty handed"  
Yorak disappeared and reappeared with a bottle of booze  
"Keith, did you bring me alcohol?"  
"It's better than a shirt?"  
"I'm attached to that shirt"  
"Here, show me your arm"  
"It's fine mum"  
"Just show me. Eh'lee is going to be expected some kind of improvement"  
Lance knew there wasn't anything nasty in those words, but once again... his stupid anxieties flared. Keith only cared because it would reflect bad on him  
"Don't give me that face"  
"What face?"  
"Like you're going to cry again. Look. We have alcohol, and you have a sword. I'll cream your arm, then you're going to show me that blade of yours... then we might even have a drink to a job well done"  
"That's it, isn't it? You just want to look at my sword. I'm hurt. I thought we were friends"  
"We are friends, but a broadsword..."  
"I'm messing with you. Yorak, go gather all Keith's socks up. We can head outside, no ones going to come near Red"  
"Your arm first"  
"My arm will be fine"  
"Just shut up"

Keith forced him to show him his messed up arm, the frown remaining on his face as his rubbed cream across the scar tissue. It wasn't great. Lance's omega was nudging him to make a move on the alpha that held his heart, while each time Keith caught him watching, the corners of his lips would turn upward. Oh the things that this man did to his heart... it was nearly as bad as the things his omega wanted him to do to him in bed... noooo. He definitely wasn't going there. Just because he'd had a crush on Keith since waaaaay before his omega side kicked back in, didn't mean that now that he could afford to day dream.

Dragged down from Red, Keith was a merciless task master. Once his initial awe over the blade passed, Keith insisted on sparring. His blade versus Lance's... was terrifying, fun and exhausting at the same time. Collapsing on the grass, Lance panted, propping himself up with one elbow to look down at Keith, the alpha wearing a really dopey grin as he stared up at him  
"You've gotten much better"  
"I'm still not as good as you"  
"Yeah, well, I'm kind of awesome"  
"You're a dick. You could at least soften the blow"  
"Nah. It's fine. Still. I can't believe you unlocked a broadsword"  
"It's not very me. Allura was really surprised. I guess the thought I was too useless for it to ever happen"  
Keith's smile dropped  
"I really wish you wouldn't talk about yourself like that"  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine"  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the mood..."  
"Do you want to know what you've been missing?"  
"No. I don't want to hear anything they have to say"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Keith. Don't. Today was ok... I mean, other than the Galra, it was a good day"  
"Just... I miss the team being together"  
"Once we get back to Earth. Once we get there, things will change"  
Like him leaving and everyone being able to move and forget he ever existed. That's all he wanted. He wanted to forget. Maybe find another alpha, someone he loved more than Keith. Even if that day didn't come, he could at least find someone who would want him... and maybe they could be happy?  
"Things will get better?"  
"That's the plan. I've taken up too much of your time tonight"  
"It's alright. This was actually kind of fun. That blade really is something else"  
"I'm still better with my gun"  
"You're not half bad with that blade, you really did do a good job today"  
"Enough with the compliments, you'll make blush"  
"We can't have that. Are you right to walk back to Red?"  
His lion was maybe 20 metres away. Yes he could make it back, he could make it back just fine... so why did he want to say no? Why did Keith's hair lol so soft? So soft that he wanted to reach out and run his fingers through it... Jumping up, Lance brushed himself off  
"Go back to Black. I'll see you tomorrow?"  
"Yeah. You have that doctors appointment in the morning. I'll come get you"  
"What about the others? You still need to get supplies"  
"They want to stay a few quintants, probably just tomorrow and the day after, just to make sure no more Galra are going to appear"  
Great... just great...  
"Keith, I appreciate this, but you've got your own thing to do. I can go see Eh'lee alone. I'll be ok"  
Keith climbed to his feet, looking like he was about to hug him before stopping himself and letting his arms drop to his side  
"Just go get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning"

The taste of lemon was no longer as bitter as it had been, and a dreamless sleep was a wonderful thing. Waking up feeling fresher after actually sleeping... it was amazing. Trying to get dressed in his uniform before Keith came, Yorak stole his jacket and shirt out of his hands, the wolf disappearing with a yip  
"Traitor! I'm telling Keith to keep you in Black!"  
Feeling particularly annoyed, and maybe just a little bit like getting back at Keith, Lance grabbed the orange shirt he'd been gifted, knowing it would get under the alpha skin. Sliding it on, he rolled his eyes at it. It was way too orange... Yeah... Keith was going to hate it. With a small and shy smile, he opened Red's door. His lion already teasing him over Keith... yet neglecting to warn him Keith wasn't alone  
"Hey Lance, I think Yorak stole these"  
Krolia was standing there. His shirt and jacket in her hands  
"Mum, don't look so imposing. Sorry Lance, Yorak teleported back just after I'd left Black. I thought you might want your uniform back, but I see you found an alternative"  
"It's fine..."  
He didn't want to be rude to Krolia, but he didn't really want to talk to her either. She was probably hoping Keith would end up with Romelle, and it felt like she could see right into his twisted heart, and all feelings he was harbouring for Keith. Taking the shirt and jacket back, he tossed them lightly onto his pilot's chair  
"It's nice to see you Lance. Your arm's looking better"  
Keith elbowed his mum, shooting her a look  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm on my way to meet the others at the market, do you mind if I walk with you and Keith, part way?"  
He couldn't say no to Krolia. He was Keith's mum. She was the whole reason he'd left them in the first place and now he couldn't seperate them... it was wrong and rude. If anything Keith should be spending the whole day with his mum   
"It's fine. I'm going to my appointment alone anyway"  
"Don't start that again. I said I would go with you. We need to know everything is healing well. We may need to form Voltron at a moments notice"  
So yesterday was all in his head. Keith... Keith had just been telling him what he thought he needed to hear. Wow... yeah... he should be used to it by now. His stomach clenched, as he forced himself not to cry  
"Yeah. I know. It fine. Let's just go"

Krolia walked them to the hospital entrance, and Lance felt horrible. Every question she asked, he recoiled back further into himself, until he finally stopped replying all together. Normal he would love talking with her, and hearing all about her adventures... but he just couldn't find it in himself. He was hurting her, and he was hurting Keith. He'd faked a smile and a joke so many times in the past that it'd been second nature. Now... when people were actually talking to him... he couldn't fucking do it. Standing in the doorway, Lance looked at the doors  
"It was nice to talk to you Lance. Keith, I'll see you later. Romelle mentioned wanting to do some clothes shopping"  
Romelle... the woman didn't even know what she'd done wrong, yet he couldn't deny he hated her... because he was so pathetically jealous  
"Keith, you should go with your mum"  
"Not this again"  
"Then just listen to me and go shopping! I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter! Just go with your mum. Go shopping with Romelle. Have fun..."  
"Why do you have to keep mentioning her?"  
"Because she likes you. You like her. You should just ask her out already and stop being stupid!"  
Pushing the door open, he marched through the halls until he finally found some one to point him to Eh'lee. If Keith hadn't hated before he. He did now... Yelling about he liked her in the middle of the street... he was a fucking moron.

Eh'lee scolded him gently over not applying the cream properly, but was stupidly grateful over what they'd done the other day. Lance had finally found that fake smile, and the politeness that had escaped him earlier. Thanking the man for all his help, he declined his offer to join his family for dinner... and to marry his daughter. The man had 4, all of which he promised were young and pretty, and would love him. That's when his smile finally fell. The idea of love with someone other than Keith. He couldn't do it... at least not right now.

Keith was waiting for him at the hospital doors, the alpha leaning against the wall attempting to look casual, while instead looking pissed. Quiznak. He'd done this  
"You didn't have to wait"  
"How did it go?"  
"You know. The usual. My arm's gonna always be discoloured, and he wants me to marry into his family... I guess he was pretty grateful over yesterday"  
It might just have been his imagination, but Keith didn't look happy as he joked about marriage  
"And the scarring?"  
"It'll clear up some more if I keep using the cream"  
"But it'll never fade?"  
"Nope. It's fine. It just blends in with the other ones"  
"You have more scars?"  
"It kind of came with the job... anyway, you're supposed to be shopping"  
"Shopping really isn't my thing"  
"You should make the most of it. Pretty girl on your arm. Hunk can tell you all the best foods. Pidge can help you with the tech..."  
"Maybe I don't want to go shopping with them"  
"You can't shun your team"  
"You're part of the team"  
Lance rolled his eyes   
"They like you better. Seriously. You should be having all sorts of..."  
Keith frowned when Lance's sentence trailed off. Turning around, Keith noticed Shiro standing a little further down the street. His eyes clearly on Keith, as from his position, he wouldn't really be able to see Lance   
"Anyway. That's my cue. Go spend some time with Shiro, go have a bonding moment"  
"Lance, did I do something wrong?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You've been talking to me, and I thought we were becoming friends, but now you're pushing me away"  
"You haven't done anything wrong. I just... I think you should be spending time with the others"  
"I already told you shopping isn't my thing"  
"And I told you that you should be with your friends"  
"God! Why are you being like this?!"  
"Because this is who I am Keith! This is who I've always been. I'm just not hiding it anymore!"  
"This isn't you! You're..."  
"I'm not what?"  
"You're not like this..."  
"That's were you're wrong... I don't want to fight"  
"Then listen to me. I'm not hanging out with you because I feel guilty or out of pity. Is it that hard to believe that I might actually see you as a friend?"  
"Yeah. It is. Because I'm just not worth it. Every time you're nice to me, it just makes me feel worse. I don't want you. I don't want you to be nice to me. I want to be alone"  
Brushing past Keith, Lance jogged away. He'd actually kind of wanted to go shopping with Keith. He wanted to pick something up just so he'd have a memory of this place and how kind Keith was. How happy he was to be with him... but Keith didn't want to shop and he didn't want to make him shop with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Keith hadn't said anything when Lance had snuck out that night. Shopping alone in the market for something for his mum, he'd seen the alpha with Romelle. They really did look good together. Shiro and Krolia might have also been there, probably out to dinner as they perfect family unit they were, but they must have doing their own thing while Keith had been helping Romelle with a necklace. If they'd been a normal couple, that might have been him in Romelle's place. Keith eyes met his, the alpha raising his hand, but Lance couldn't take it. The pain in his heart sent him running back to Red, his emotions as clear as the moon in the sky as he sobbed in his chair. He loved Keith. He loved him and he hated him. He hated this. He hated all of this. He hated being caught in this never ending circle of self hatred and doubt. Wiping his face, he took control of Red's controls  
"Red, does this place have a beach?"  
A map of the planet appeared on his holoscreen. It had rivers and lakes, but not a beach in the traditional sense  
"How about mountains? I want to watch the sunrise"  
He'd taken a dose of sleeping powder, so had slept the day away, leaving him now wide awake. The map blinked, a location circling in red as the topographic map came up  
"Can we land there?"  
Red nodded in his mind   
"Wanna watch a sunrise with me?"  
Red lifted up, Lance barely pushing on her controls, his lion more flying him there than him flying her. With her size and speed, it only took her a few doboshes to reach the location, landing on a steep cliff, barely big enough to hold her form, which meant no one else would be able to land near here. Gathering up his things, he headed down to the end of Red's ramp, sitting on the bottom step as he stared out across the night sky  
"This is really pretty. I know we see stars all the time, but watching them with you, it makes me happy. I love you, Red"  
Wrapping his blankets around him, Lance pulled the cork on the bottle of alcohol Keith had brought, taking a cautious sip. He'd never loved drinking straight. He didn't love the burning down his throat, or the fumes, but this... it was nice. It had a subtle lemon taste, which seemed to be thing on this planet, and it lacked the burn  
"Red, I wish you could taste this. I wish you were human... I wish I could take you home to meet everyone, they'd all love you. Mami... my mum, she'd be so grateful. You'd love the attention. My brothers and sister... their a bit hands on, and all my nieces and nephews... they'd all love you so much"

Working away at the bottle, Lance was drunk in a bad way. The alcohol was really nice, but drinking while depressed was never a smart thing to do. With his knees to his chest, he was wiping at his unending tears. Keith loved Romelle. He loved Romelle and they looked perfect together. Male omegas were so worthless... no self respecting guy was going to admit he could give birth. Even if it was natural, and something uncontrollable, they were still shunned for being freaks. Keith was a strong alpha. He deserved a beautiful partner. Someone to love him and grow with him. To have his pups, and have has back at the same time. That wasn't him. Nudging his mind, Red was telling that enough was enough and to put the bottle down. So he did just that, throwing as it as far as he could, before regretting it the moment the glass smashed.

"Lance?"  
Jumping in guilt, Lance wiped his face as he scolded Red for not warning him Keith had tracked them down  
"Keith?"  
"You ok?"  
Walking around Red's paw and to the end of the ramp where he was sitting, Keith looked down at him, or rather the Keith shaped blob did  
"What are you doing here?"  
"You took Red and you took off. Yorak was going crazy"  
"I'm sorry... I need space"  
"You've had space all day"  
"I slept..."  
"You slept all day?"  
"So what? What does it matter!? Can't you tell I want to be alone?!"  
Keith sighed at him  
"Alright, let's get you back in Red"  
"No. I'm waiting to watch the sunrise with Red!"  
"I don't think Red will mind..."  
"I don't care what you think! Go ahead and laugh! Laugh at me Keith! I know you want to!"  
"I'm not going to laugh at you..."  
"Why not! You have to know by now! You have to know what happened and I bet you're all fucking laughing!"  
Keith went to place his hand on Lance's shoulder, but all he saw was his father's fist. Whimpering, he jerked back, falling backward off Red's ramp  
"Lance!"  
"Leave me alone!"  
"No. I've had enough of this"  
Lifting him up, Keith carried him back around to the bottom step of Red's ramp, sitting down and sitting him on his lap like he was kid  
"What am I supposed to be laughing at?"  
"I fucking died Keith. I died and I couldn't even do that right! That's why I'm so fucked up! I'm not supposed to be here"  
"You died?"  
"Allura brought me back to life, but I haven't been the same since. I think I was supposed to stay dead, because everything's gone wrong since!"  
"You died..."  
Lance nodded, sniffling as wiped at his teary and snotty face  
"Red got hit... I know it was only a few doboshes... but Keith, when you die, there's nothing there. It's black... and it's so cold. I know Shiro died. I know I'm not as important as his, but... I didn't meld with Red. I was gone completely... I don't even know if I'm me anymore"  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"When? When should I have told you? After you got Shiro back? After everyone heard he died? Should I have been like "Hey guys. Funny thing. I actually died too". Pidge would have laughed so hard she wet herself or told me to shut up. Maybe when I fell in the fucking fire?"  
"Lance..."  
"I thought Allura would have, so you can all have a good laugh"  
Or maybe she could have told them when he'd fallen in the fire and they were all "worried"  
"No one's laughing"  
"Why not?"  
"Because it's not funny... I wish you'd told me"  
"You had more important things to deal with"  
"You died! That is not ok! Lance, it's not. I should have been there for you"  
"No, you shouldn't..."  
"Stop saying that. It's my job to be there for all of you! It's my job as the Black Paladin to protect you all! You've died. You've been shunned and bullied and you're crying yourself to sleep. They've been cruel and you still expect me to be nice to them. How am I supposed to be when you're suffering so much?"  
"Are you really Keith? I mean you've got the mullet, but you're being way too nice"  
"You're really drunk"  
"Maybe... still. You're really nice and pretty"  
His mouth was moving on his own, but he couldn't stop. Word vomit was better than real vomit  
"Thanks"  
"Just saying it how it is"  
"Then let me say this. You don't deserve this"  
"It's fine... I think I want to go to bed"  
"What happened to watching the sunrise?"  
"I'm tired"  
"Alright. Up we go"  
Lance laughed as Keith lifted him with ease, his own laughing hurt to hear  
"It's not fair how buff you are now"  
"I know. I never used to be able to do this"

Carrying him to his bed in the back of Red, Keith laid down next to him. Lance blinking when the alpha didn't leave right away  
"I'll be ok"  
"Don't start this again"  
"You..."  
"I'm staying. You're a mess"  
"Your still really pretty"  
Keith groaned, hiding his face with his hands  
"Just go to sleep, you drunk"  
"I really liked the alcohol... I wish I could have taken some home"  
"We could buy some?"  
"Dad was an alcoholic. We can't drink at home"  
"Oh... I didn't know that"  
"It's fine. I was too young to know to run. Mum kicked him out, and he got sober, and when he came back, he was really sorry"  
"That's heavy"  
"I deserved it. You might not believe it, but I was annoying kid"  
"No kid deserves to be hit"  
"You're so funny. It's fine"  
Rolling onto his side to face Keith, Lance poked him in the eye, while aiming for his nose  
"What was that?"  
"I wanted to know if you were actually real"  
"Of course I'm real"  
"It's a shame you are. I could kiss you if you weren't"  
Poking Keith again, this time it was in the lip. Holy hell it was soft. Capturing his hand, Keith pulled it down, resting it against his chest  
"No more poking"  
"Your lips are really soft. Why are you so pretty?"  
"Lance, go to sleep"  
"No. I want to know why? You're an alpha, you're supposed to be all manly"  
"How am I supposed to know?"  
"They're your lips"  
"It's not like I go around touching them"  
"Maybe you should?"  
"If I touch my lips, will you go to sleep"  
"Nope. Because you have to touch mine too or you won't get it"  
"I have to touch my lips against yours?"  
"No silly! Not unless you want to, but no one wants to"  
Blinking at Keith, the alpha wasn't moving. His drunken courage has roared to life and his brain had gone on holiday. Leaning in, his lips brushed Keith's. They were so very soft and so very warm. The kiss small and tentative before ending all too soon. Settling back down against Keith, Lance hummed   
"I stole a kiss"  
"You did... did you... uh... like it?"  
"Mmm... I like you. But I can't tell you"  
"Why not?"  
"Because you'd never like me back... no one ever likes me back"  
"Lance..."  
"It's fine... I still got a kiss"  
"Why can't you understand?"  
Lance looked up, only having a tick to realise what was happening before he was leaning in to kiss Keith again. When the alpha released his hand, Lance moved it to thread his fingers through Keith's hair. Fuck... it was soft like a kittens. Grabbing onto it, he rolled backwards, pulling Keith with him  
"Lance"  
"I'm so tired of being alone. I'm so tired of being cold all the time... I'm sorry in such a coward... but I've always liked you"  
Sliding a leg between his, Keith kissed him. Yeah. This was a dream. He'd gotten drunk and passed out, now he dreaming. There was no way Keith could possibly be getting hard against him wriggling against the alpha, he ground against Keith's crotch, Keith moaning into his mouth as he broke the kiss  
"Lance, are you sure you want this?"  
"I don't know a whole lot about much, but I know I want you"

Keith was sweet, one hand moving across Lance's exposed skin, while the other slowly opened him. The sensation was nothing like he'd expected, and unlike a normal omega, there was only the tiniest amount of slick. In fact, he was kind of sure that Keith still thought him a beta. Moaning as the alpha nipped at his collar bone, Lance ground down against his fingers   
"I want you..."  
"I need to prep you"  
"It's fine... I promise"  
"If it hurts, I want to know"  
"It won't hurt. You'd never do anything intentional to hurt me"  
Nodding, Keith kissed his lips before moving between his legs, the alpha just as hard as he was, leaving him feeling euphoric. Keith had actually gotten hard for him. He wasn't just... he wanted him back. Nudging Lance's thighs further apart, the alpha placed a hand on his hip as he slowly pushed into Lance's heat. Holy shit! His heart was racing, and fuck it felt weird... but it felt so good. So much better than his own fingers and toys he'd used in the past... not that we ever admit he had. Moaning as Keith bottomed out, the alpha stared down at him  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah... it feels weird... but good..."  
"If you want stop..."  
"No... please. I don't want to feel alone anymore"

Revelling in pleasure, Keith brought him to orgasm with ease. His lips and hands filling him with warmth where they met his skin. Keith never pausing too long in one spot, but it was enough to light a fire within him. One he prayed would ever go out. The alpha was way more skilled than he'd expected, and Lance melted beneath Keith's warmth. His hands gripping the alphas broad shoulders as Keith hit his sweet spot over and over. He'd never known anything could feel this good, or that he could feel so fulfilled. His moans mixing in as he chanted Keith's name over and over, like that was the only word he'd ever known or needed to know. Over sensitised, Lance threw his head back as Keith's knot swelled. He didn't know if an alpha could knot a beta, but fuck... his toes curling as he came again  
"Do you want me to pull out?"  
"No... no, it's fine"  
Driving his knot in, Lance nearly fainted in pleasure from being completely knotted and the sensation of Keith's seed filling him in jerky pulses. Rocking his hips, Keith kissed him again   
"Wow..."  
"Yeah... fuck..."  
Flipping them over with ease, Keith wrapped an arm around him, his left hand brushing Lance's hair back from his face  
"You're wrecked"  
"I wonder who's fault that is"  
"Not mine. Now get some sleep"  
Resting his head on Keith's shoulder, the alpha pulled the blankets over them, Lance humming in appreciation. This was a good dream. A really good dream that happened twice more during the night.

 

*  
Keith was snoring when Lance woke up. Cocooned in Keith's hold, the omega panicked. The first thing he did was rip back the sheets to make sure he still had his pants on. Which he did. They felt wet inside, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd had a wet dream over Keith... and what a dream it was. The Keith in his head actually wanted him. Had let him tell him he loved him. Had let him kiss him and... and they'd... they'd done that. Blushing a brilliant Red, the omega hoped he hadn't been too embarrassing and annoying, while Red was all too happy to prod at him  
"Do not even say it. Last night never happened and you know it can't happen. I was drunk and horny. That's it and if you tell anyone, I'll never ever forgive you and I won't talk to you for the rest of the trip"  
Red sighed, but pulled back. He was freaking out, screaming when Keith placed his hand on his shoulder   
"Lance?!"  
"Jesus Keith! You fucking scared me!"  
"Are you ok!?"  
"Oh, what. Yeah. Fine. Just talking to Red. I guess I got drunk last night... I am so sorry. I have no idea what I said but I didn't mean it. Veronica says I'm a loving drunk and I tell everyone how nice and pretty and how much I love them and I hope I didn't make you feel too uncomfortable"  
"It's fine..."  
Keith didn't sound happy, but from what he remembered, the alpha hated mornings... no, the old Keith didn't like mornings. But that was only when he was sleep deprived   
"Do you remember what happened?"  
"Nope. I really shouldn't drink. I think I was talking to you... but then I fell asleep or was I telling you I needed to sleep..."  
"Lance, you said a lot of things last night..."  
"I... I'm sorry. Can you just forget them?"  
"Do you really want me to?"  
Keith's fingers brushed his neck and with a horrible, horrible, horrible certainty, he realised, that last night wasn't actually a dream. He'd slept with Keith. He and Keith had sex... more than once... oh god. Oh god...  
"Lance"  
"Keith, you should go... I... do you need a lift to Black?"  
"Lance..."  
"Please Keith... please don't. I'm sorry I got drunk and I'm sorry I ran away. I just needed to get out of my head for a while"  
Climbing to sit up, Keith cupped his face with his left hand  
"Lance, it's ok"  
"I can't do this right now"  
"Alright. I get it. We'll probably head tonight rather than tomorrow morning. What are you going to do?"  
"I missed watching the sunrise..."  
Because Keith was making him cum again  
"Then we can watch the sunset"  
He still wanted to talk to him? And be friends?  
"If you want to"  
"I do. And a lift back would be great"

Landing Red near Black, Lance was a mess. He and Keith had... but why?! Keith hadn't exactly been into him before, but now he was being so soft and gentle. He wasn't exactly sprouting "I love yous" like Lance had been, instead it was "we're friends" and "as the leader of Voltron"... but Keith had never been one to scream his emotions. Fuck. What the fuck had he done?

 

*  
Through a very strict and carefully planned schedule, Lance actively avoided Keith where he could. If he took just a tiny bit more medication at night, he could sleep from sun down to up without waking. Yorak would wake him up, Keith now sending him random items by "wolf-gram", which Lance would send back when Yorak went back to the alpha for lunch. Sometimes Keith would come sit with him, but Lance couldn't do it. He didn't know what to say or do now that he'd fucked up so badly. And somehow... this managed to keep going on, all the way back to Earth. Even with their side missions to pick up crystals and stuff Earth didn't have, he successfully kept the walls up... until the last night before they'd return to Earth.

Sitting in Red, Lance was was staring out at the Galaxy in front of him. Tomorrow all this would come to an end and he'd never pilot Red again. Red was hurting. She didn't want him to leave, but he'd already packed up all his things and cleaned through Red the best he could. Having made it here with only minor skirmishes with the Galra was kind of amazing... and now he watching the lights in the other lions go out. He was going to miss them... he was going to miss everyone more than he was prepared to admit. With a small knock, he was brought back to reality. There was only one person who'd knock on his door so late, and only one person he actually wanted to see. He could tell Keith now. How he felt about him. Because he was never going to see him again. Giving Red permission to open the door, Keith landed lightly in the cockpit, removing his helmet once the door had slid into place. Lance still had his own helmet on as he'd kind of expected this visit. Sliding it off, he looked up at Keith, his throat going dry and he practically rasped out   
"Hey"  
"Hey. I wanted to check in with you. Tomorrow is the big day..."  
"Yeah... I guess I can't really believe it..."  
"Do you want to talk?"  
"We probably should"  
Rising from his seat, he reached out and took Keith's hand, leading him through to Red's spotless cargo bay. The only thing out place were his blankets on the floor. Towing Keith over to them, Lance sat, throwing his helmet aside, Keith doing the same   
"I was kind of expecting this"  
"I know. It's just... I feel like we haven't really talked"  
"Since we had sex?"  
"Yeah... do you regret it?"  
"Yes and no. Do you?"  
"I don't know. I don't think so"  
"It's ok if you do... I mean... I told you I loved you. And then I ignored you"  
"You were going through a lot..."  
"I didn't mean to fall in love with you... and I honestly tried to give up. But I think when we get back to Earth, I'm going to stay with my family for a bit"  
Which was true. He wanted to stay with them, and then maybe travel... clear his head   
"I think it'll be good for you..."  
"But?"  
"But were does that leave us?"  
"Is someone horny?"  
"Maybe. No. I don't know"  
"I don't know. I never thought I'd get the chance to tell you I love you. You're really important to me... but my head is so messed up"  
"So what do we do?"  
"I go stay with my family. You show your mum off... we take a break. And then... see how we feel after it all"  
"This feels like the end"  
"Because we've all been away from home for so long"  
"I don't want this to be the end"  
"Then what do you want?"  
"I don't know. From tomorrow, we're all going to be so busy..."  
"So that leaves tonight?"  
"Lance"  
"You know I love you, and you know I want you. You're an amazing person Keith. I know you're not great at feelings. You've always been better with actions... so, if you want to spend the night. I'm ok with that"

Alternating between sex and lying in each other's arms sharing small kisses and whispers, the night truly was perfect. A comfortable silence would settle between them, then with just a nudge or kiss, they were melting into each other, Keith not shying back as he bit and scratched, his hands holding Lance so tight that he'd already bruised him. This was all he'd ever wanted. Keith holding him. Keith whispering how beautiful he was as he came. The love he felt coming from the alpha was nearly enough to make him stay. But he was already packed. This night would probably be the only thing he didn't completely regret since they discovered Blue. Before either of them was ready, it was time to go. Keith kissing him, and offering him that rare smile that made his heart skip a beat. Kissing Keith goodbye, he stayed in the cargo bay as the alpha left, waiting for Red to let him know when her door was closed and safe for him to enter the cockpit. Settling in his chair felt surreal. Kind of like when they lost the castle. He was saying goodbye to the thing that made him happiest. He was saying goodbye to his best girl...


	4. Chapter 4

Landing on Earth hadn't been what he'd expected. He'd thought he'd feel more than he did as he stared out at the Galaxy Garrison and the cadets forming neat rows to welcome them back to Earth. He thought he'd feel something. Something more than an incredible weariness. He was home. His mission was done and it was time to leave Red behind. He'd already changed out his uniform. Red now softly weeping for the pair of them as his own tears wouldn't come. Standing, he placed his folded uniform carefully on her chair. His Bayard sitting next to his helmet and communicator as Red silently pleaded for him not to leave her behind. Dressed in his jeans and jacket, he wore the orange shirt Keith had bought for him under a plain black T. None of his possessions seemed worth taking now. Now that he was back  
"Thank you girl. No matter what happens. I'm always going to love you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me, and thank you for staying with me until the end. I hope your next Paladin will love you like you deserve... and don't you dare settle for anything other than the best. You deserve the best. You deserve someone who's strong and fierce, and will be there with you forever. I'm sorry it has to end this way... Goodbye Red"

Walking casually from her mouth, a crowd had already gathered around the others. Iverson twitching as he stared at Keith and Shiro. The poor man had no idea what hit him. Not wanting to steal the glory from the group, he jumped one of the low fences designed to keep the cadets back, and skirted around the edges. Some of them stared at him, but with his hood up, it was easy enough to blend in with the public once he reached the end of them. His friends wouldn't even notice he was gone, not for vargas and when they did, Keith would simply tell them he'd gone to see his family... after all, he hadn't had the courage to say goodbye to Keith forever. Snaking his way away from the people pushing forward, his head shot up as he heard his name yelled. Looking around, his eyes widened, and soon he was shoving his way through the crowd   
"Marco!"  
"Lance!"  
Half leaping into his older brothers arms, the alpha caught him with ease  
"Lance, is it really you?"  
"In the flesh!"  
Marco gathered him to his chest, his brother praying as he did before pushing him back to look him up and down  
"You look awful"  
"Thanks. Are the others here?"  
"Mami wanted to be..."  
"It's fine. I'm kind of glad she's not the first person I'm seeing. I'm not going to be able to sit straight for a week after she gets to me with that slipper"  
"I think you can be forgiven. Are you done? Can you leave?"  
"Probably not and I don't see anyone chasing me... but we should go"  
"Lance, what did you do?"  
"Nothing. I'm wounded you'd think I'd done something"  
Lance bit his lip, looking from Marco to Red and back to Marco  
"How bad was it?"  
"It wasn't great... but I'm done. I've told Red, and she understands"  
"That big Red lion?"  
"Her name is Red, and I used to pilot her. Before that, I piloted Blue"  
"What about the Black one?"  
"It's a long story. Can we get out of here?"  
"I can't believe you've been in space man. You've missed so much"  
"You'll have to fill me in. How are we getting home?"  
"I brought tickets... but for tomorrow"  
"Do you think they'll let us catch another flight? How famous are we?"  
"The Galaxy Garrison only recently released a statement"  
"Probably because the castle blew up and we had to come back"  
"You were on a castle?"  
"With a real princess and everything. Anyway. Fame wise?"  
"Your names and photos were released about a month ago"  
"Sweet. That means we should be able to head back straight away"  
"Lance, are you sure?"  
"Marco, I am sooo beyond sure"

So fame had its advantages and its disadvantages. They'd been able to get an earlier flight... but the moment they'd touched down in Cuba, its branch of the Galaxy Garrison wanted to question him. Marco paced outside the small rooms window, while Lance was questioned over and over. They wanted to send him back to the main headquarters, until he'd finally taken a piece of paper and pen and printed that he had no intention of returning to space or talking about anything that happened out there, and he wished to simply disappear. Iverson was going to cry tears of joy once he read it, and the two men who were supposed to be questioning him really didn't know what to say. So he'd left. He'd left them sitting there behind the narrow desk. All he wanted to do was go home and put the past behind him.

Marco drove them home, Lance enjoying the slow and relaxed speed of Earth technology. He'd missed car rides, even if it felt completely bizarre to be in a car again. Lost in his thoughts, Marco didn't push for details. He must have changed more than he thought... there was a time Marco would have taken ever opportunity to tease him until Lance didn't know up from down. Now he just kept shooting him sideways glances and sighing softly from time to time. When they finally reached the family home on the edge of town, Lance smiled at the lights. He couldn't actually remember a time when all the lights were off  
"Mami thinks we're coming back tomorrow. Veronica will be over tomorrow. She's got a new baby girl"  
"Another girl?"  
"Louis has three now"  
"No way!"  
"All boys. Veronica is always saying they should swap"  
"She wouldn't swap her babies. How about you?"  
"It didn't work out"  
"I'm sorry Marco"  
"It's fine. It was mutual"  
"It's still absolute quiznak falling in love with someone who will never love you back"  
"Don't go sounding so old. You're still young Lance"  
"That's what you get from that sentence? Not the quiznak thing"  
"You were in space"  
"Yep and now I legally can't talk about it. I've quit my job. I'm no longer a Paladin"  
The front door creaked open, his mother creeping out with her curlers in her hair, and her slipper raised  
"Oh shit... maybe we could come back tomorrow?"  
"Nope. You're the golden boy!"  
"You can't sacrifice me. I'm disfigured and stuff!"  
"Your what?"  
"It's another long story... come on, I don't want to get hit"

 

*  
The first thing his mother had done was slap him with her slipper, before gathering him against her. The pair of them sobbing hard against each other, while Marco slipped into the house. By the time they finally made it inside, his cousins were awake. All of them had been pups when he'd left to join the Garrison, and he was just a name with no face. Sinking down into one of the mismatched kitchen chairs, his mother sent them off to bed, even kicking Marco out the room before cupping his face in his hands  
"Is it really you?"  
"Yeah mami. I'm so sorry I was gone for so long"  
"The said you were missing"  
"And for a time I was. But I'm home now"  
"For how long? They didn't tell us anything. I wanted to come but Veronica..."  
"I heard she has a new bub"  
"Kendra"  
"Wow... I'm an uncle again"  
"Come baby, take that coat off. You know I never liked it"  
Sitting back, his mother looked at him expectantly   
"Mami..."  
"Don't tell me you think you're too good now that you are a Paladin"  
"No mami! It's not that. Mami. A lot has happened. And... I was hurt. I'm ok, and it looks much worse than it is"  
"Who is it? Who hurt my baby..."  
"Mami! It's over! It's ok"  
"You show me what they did to you my baby"

Taking first his jacket off, then both shirts, his mother gasped at his scars  
"My poor baby!"  
"Mami, its fine. They don't hurt and space is super advanced. They have healing pods. You go in and it heals you like nothing happened"  
"But your arm!"  
"That was an accident. I fell into a fire. Please mami, don't cry"  
"I don't want you to go back"  
Kneeling down in front of his mother, Lance wrapped his arms around her  
"I'm not going back. Never again. They're probably going to want to talk to me, but I made my decision. I just want to be here and live a normal life"  
"Being a pilot was your dream"  
"And I achieved it. Now... I have a new dream. I'm so tired of running and fighting. Of being shot and being shot at. I'm exhausted mami. I'm so exhausted and I've said my goodbyes"  
"You're really home, my baby?"  
"Yeah mami. I'm home"

 

*  
As much as Lance loved being home, home wasn't loving him back. He'd forgotten what it was like to share a bathroom with 6 other people. What it was like to live on top of each other and that when he woke up to screaming nightmare... the whole street could hear his screams. His nieces and nephews were scared of him. Veronica didn't know what to say to him. She'd gone to hit him like she used to and he'd blocked it... before throwing her over his shoulder without thinking about it. Louis's mate didn't like their kids being around him, and his mother wouldn't stop hovering. His father was currently living with his grandpa as his grandmother had passed while he was in space. All their lives had moved on without him. And instead of finding peace... he was just... empty.

Salvation came in the form of Marco and his friend Ernesto. It honestly felt like Lance had known Ernesto for just as long as he'd known Marco. They were distant cousins or something... though everyone seemed to a be cousin even those not related by blood, buuuut most importantly, they were in the right place at the right time. His father needed help out on his grandfather's farm... and Marco and Ernesto were that help... Lance waiting until the morning they were leaving to spring it on his mother that he was going with them. He'd had to run like hell after that. His mother throwing both her slippers at him as he promised to be safe and call. Running out to the waiting car, he through himself in as his mother appeared at the doorway, still yelling at him in Spanish   
"Ernesto, drive!"  
The man didn't need telling twice, the car lurching forward as he fumbled he gears  
"Lance, I thought you said mami was ok with you leaving!"  
"I might have lied, but seriously, she's smothering me! She's worse than Coran with a case of the slipperies"  
"A case of the what?"  
"Don't bother. Since he'd come back from space, he's been saying all kinds of crazy things"  
"They're not crazy. You just had to be there at the time"  
"Are we allowed to talk about it?"  
"What? The space thing? It's been on the news. Allura and Shiro were on the other day"  
"I thought you weren't talking about it. Mami says you've completely shut her out"  
"I haven't shut her out. There's just stuff she doesn't need to know about"  
"Like your nightmares?"  
"Marco, this is not a counselling session"  
"You've been back for a month, and you're still waking up screaming"  
When had it become a month? It still felt like only yesterday he'd walked through the front door. A whole month and not one of them had contacted him. Hunk had his mobile number, and his home number. Pidge could hack into anything, so it wouldn't have been hard for her to find it if she'd really wanted to... No. He wasn't going to do this to himself. He'd left them behind. He'd made his choice  
"Lance?"  
"Sorry. I guess everyone's going to know all about it, soon enough"  
"Is it true you really piloted that giant red cat?"  
"Her name is Red and she's a lion. I took over piloting her when Keith took over piloting Black"  
"Then who did you used to pilot?"  
"Blue. She was the lion we found here on Earth"  
"And what about the other ones?"  
"Ernesto..."  
"Marco, its fine. This stuff's all public knowledge. Princess Allura of Altea pilots Blue. Shiro used to pilot Black, but Keith took over. Before that Keith used to pilot Red. Katie Holt pilots Green and Hunk pilots Yellow"  
"Hunk's a pilot?! I thought you said he couldn't stomach it"  
"Flying a lion is completely different to the crafts they have at the Galaxy Garrison. Like, the lion has to choose you to be its pilot. Not everyone can just pilot it"  
"So what about Red? Who will take over piloting her?"  
"I don't know. She knows I don't want to go back into space, and when she finally finds a new Paladin, she'll fly out to meet them"  
"Man, if I had a job like that, I'd never come back here"  
"I used to think that too... but it's not as great as you'd think"  
"I think you're just running away"  
"Marco!"  
"Mami says you scream in your sleep. You call out for Keith to help you. What's that all about?!"  
"Keith's a friend"  
"An alpha friend?"  
"Marco!"  
"You smelt like alpha when you came back... was it him? Is my little brother in looooooove?!"  
"Ernesto, remind me again why you tolerate him?"  
"Because of my killer jokes. Obviously. Now spill. She's going to want to know how you're going"  
"I'm fine..."  
Marco caught his eyes in the reflection of the rear view mirror  
"Ok. I'm not fine. I was basically kicked off the team because I couldn't do anything right. In the end, Keith was my only friend. Even Hunk hates me. I came home because I was tired of being made to feel like shit by everyone else. And I'm tired of being shot at, and tortured and nearly dying and actually dying and I'm just so tired of remembering it all"  
"You died?"  
"And came back"  
"God. You're just as annoying as when you left"  
"Thanks. I missed you too"  
"I'm just saying, if you were more like me..."  
"Ernesto, please hit him"  
"Hey, don't you bring my best friend into this"  
"I don't know why you two don't just bond already. You're basically with each other all the time"  
"Dude!"  
"Alpha/alpha couples aren't unusual"  
"Says the omega"  
"Exactly"  
"Why didn't you bond with Keith? You liked him enough to sleep with him!"  
"Because Keith belongs out there. He could have anyone he wanted, and he doesn't even know I'm an omega. My heats still haven't come back"  
"Seriously. It's been like... 5 years"  
"Yeah. Well. They haven't"  
"You still slept with Keith"  
"You're not going to shut up about this, are you?"  
"My little brother is all grown up. Please tell me you used protection"  
"Ernesto. Please!"  
"Ernesto, keep driving. Lance, did you use protection?"  
"I don't need to. I don't have proper heats remember!"  
"Mami is going to flip if you've come home pregnant"  
"I haven't come home pregnant! I am going to forget all about Keith and his stupid mullet. I'm going to get over these shitty nightmares and then I'm going to go travelling"  
"Am I still an uncle if the baby is half-alien?!"  
"Keith is like mostly human!"  
"Whoa! Seriously? He's not fully human?"  
"His mums a Galra"  
Ernesto finally piped up after keeping a smart silence   
"Aren't the Galra the bad guys?"  
"How do you know that?"  
"It was on the news. That's why you had to come back. To build some giant castle?"  
"Not all the Galra are bad... but for the most part, they are. After we killed their emperor, his son took over but we had to kill him too..."  
"You killed people?"  
And back to Marco  
"It was either I kill them or I be killed. For the most part, the Galra doesn't value life like we do. Why am I even talking to you?"  
"Because you love me"  
"I don't know about that. Alright, Ernesto. What else do you want to know?"  
"How come he gets to ask questions?"  
"Because so far he hasn't made me want to throw myself out of the car"  
"Lance, are you ok?"  
"Yeah. I'm ok. I honestly just want to forget the bad stuff"  
"What's the weirdest race you met?"  
"Mermaids. Honest to God, mermaids"  
"Mermaids don't exist"  
"Everything exists out there. We found a cow in the middle of a Galra approached shopping mall. A freaking cow! They had an Earth store"  
"Cows aren't common?"  
"There variations of cows, but not like we know them. And most races don't have second dynamics"  
"That's so weird"  
"Yep"  
"So you lived in a flying castle with a princess and 5 giant lions"  
"It sounds stupid when you say it like that"  
"Sorry, bro. Just trying to wrap my mind around it"  
"I don't think you'll end up meeting any of them, but if you ever do, they'll be able to back me up"  
Ernesto frowned, leaning back to look at him while Marco grabbed the wheel  
"You really aren't going to see them again?"  
"Do you remember when you asked Sophia Lang out? And things got really bad at school"  
"Why would bring that up? I've been trying so hard to forget"  
"Imagine like months of that, from the people who are supposed to be your friends. I like died, and they literally didn't notice or care. Allura brought me back, but they didn't care. These are people I've saved and taken hits for. And they didn't care... so no. I don't think I'm going to see them again, and I honestly never want to. Hunk included. I was so close to killing myself because of them. Only Keith realised what was happening. But I'd already decided to leave by then"  
Ernesto turned back taking the steering wheel while Marco undid his seatbelt and climbed into the backseat, wrapping his arms around Lance   
"No one hurt my little brother"  
"Thanks, Marco. I don't really hate you. I just... I really need to work out the stuff in my head without mami breathing down my neck. None of the kids will talk to me, and the ones who remember me think I'm a freak now. Veronica and Louis both don't trust me with their kids... and so much has changed since I left"  
"I didn't mean to upset you"  
"It's ok, it's your job"  
Burrowing against Marco's chest, his brother stroked his hair   
"We'll protect you"  
"I know. But the problem is, I think I need to be protected from myself"  
"Nah. Once we get you out there on the farm, we'll work you so hard that you won't have time to think"  
"See, you think that's a punishment, but it's really not"  
"Hear that. He volunteered to do all the chores for free"  
"That's what I heard!"  
"Ha ha. I'm disfigured remember? Mami actually prayed over the burn"  
"She missed you. She went through a real rough patch when you disappeared. She and papi were constantly fighting"  
"He didn't start drinking again, did he?"  
"No. No, he's not going to hurt you again"  
"Marco, I freaked out. I had a few drinks and when Keith went to touch my shoulder, I freaked out so badly. I thought coming back would make things better"  
"And they will. Grandpa's an alpha. Papi's an alpha. Ernesto's an alpha. I'm an alpha. Veronica's an alpha. Mum's an alpha. Louis's an alpha..."  
"And I'm just an omega"  
"You're not just an omega. I bet you could kick my arse"  
"Probably. I can use a sword and I was the teams sharpshooter"  
"Oh my god. This I've got to see"  
Lance giggled, wiping the left side of his face with his palm  
"If Mami was here, she'd smack us for taking the lord's name in vain"  
"She sure does love her slippers"  
"Yeah... Marco, can you stay in the back for a bit?"  
"Do you need a cuddle?"  
"Can you not make fun of me? I run myself down enough"  
"Alight. But you've got to give me something?"  
"I'll give you a black eye"  
"Hugs it is"  
"That's better. I'm really sleepy"  
"It's because this car is like 30 years old. Someone's gotta drive like an old lady or is gonna fall apart"  
"Excuse me. I don't see you buying a car"  
"Why do I need a car when I've got you?!"  
"He's got you there"  
"Lance, I thought we were friends"  
"We are. He's still right"  
"Ha! I never thought I'd live to see the day you actually agree with me"  
"Miracles will happen. Now be quite, I'm sleeping"

 

*  
After the initial embarrassment of falling asleep in the car and being carried inside by Marco, Lance found living at the farm so much easier than at home. Waking up 3 am to milk the cows was actually a welcome chore as his sleep pattern was brutalised. From 3 to 5 he was with the cows. From 6 to 9 breakfast and time to check the chickens. Between 10 and 3 was too hot to be outside, so that's when he did the majority of his sleeping, then from 3 to 6 was checking the crops and vegetable gardens at the back of the house. In its hay day, it'd been mainly cattle, but that day had long since come and gone. Now they sold the eggs and vegetables at the markets down in town. Most of the land was purely for grazing, but with only 10 or so cows, it was largely unused. At night they'd eat dinner at 6:30 exactly, and watch TV until his grandpa finally drifted off. This farm had been in his family for so long, even his grandpa couldn't remember when the deed was required, only that "he'd worked the fields since he could walk and kids these days had it so much easier". In Lance's own opinion, they didn't. And with a lack of bedding, he was currently stuck bunking in the same room as Ernesto and Marco. Their has been a double and single bed on opposite sides of the room, but so comfortable with each other, they'd pushed them together to make one big bed, while insisting Lance sleep between them. While it was nice to feel safe between two alphas, it'd lead to some very awkward wake ups... his least favourite being him spooned against Marco, while Ernesto rutted up against him. After that, Lance had changed his sleep schedule and everything was working out for the better. He could sleep in the lounge room after his grandfather and his father went to bed. Marco and Ernesto usually taking pity on him, and opting to watch their bad TV shows up in their room. Given he was the only one crazy enough to get up at 3, the pair usually retired around 11, meaning he got about 4 hours sleep, which didn't seem to be long enough to trigger screaming nightmares... just incredibly realistic normal ones that left him drenched in sweat and thanking god that it was just a dream, in almost every language he could think of.

This morning was the first hiccup in his routine since he'd established it nearly three weeks ago. He'd had a nightmare bad enough to wake up screaming... and waking the house up in the process. His father had been the first to reach him as he'd catapulted over the sofa, the man not thinking as he'd grabbed him around the waist in an attempt to stop him from hurting himself. This had only caused him to panic, fighting hard enough for them both to fall to the floor, Lance booting his father solidly in his stomach before trying to run. Yeah... it hadn't been a great dream. He'd been dreaming that he and Keith had been captured by Haggar, both of them chained down while tainted quintessence flooded Keith's system. The alpha screaming non-stop as Lance screamed at her to stop. Leaping off the front veranda, he was tackled by behind, flipped over and pinned down as Marco slapped his face  
"Lance!"

Marco hadn't even stood a chance. 

The moment he realised he wasn't actually on a Galra ship, he threw up... a lot. With his brother straddling his lap, and Lance half trying to sit up... well, Marco had copped the most of it  
"Is he ok?!"  
"He needs a bath!"  
"On it!"  
Ignoring the fact he was covered in vomit, Marco gathered him against him. His brother hushing him as he rubbed his back  
"You're ok. You're home"  
"I'm sorry!"  
Sobbing in embarrassment, Lance clutched Marco like he was the only person in the world. Coming down to join them, his father squatted down next to him, Lance panicking as he realised he could smell the man and that his dad was right there... he had to be mad... whimpering as the man's hand came to his shoulder, Marco held him tighter  
"That was one hell of a dream kid"  
"Dad, you're scaring him"  
"With moves like that. He's got nothing to be scared of"  
"I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt you... don't hurt me"  
His fathered removed his hand   
"How long will I have to pay for that mistake?"  
"Dad, it's not like that. We talked about what he went through. Lance, can you tell me about your dream?"  
"I... Keith and I were being tortured by Haggar... I'm sorry. I'm ok. I didn't mean to throw up on you"  
"You feel warm, and your scent's comeback. I'll have Ernesto check the cows. You're going to sleep in and I'll take you for a check up in the morning"  
"No! No... I'm ok! It's ok... please"  
"Lance, you're getting better, but it's ok to need help"  
"No... if the Garrison finds out, they'll take me away... I don't want to go back. Don't send me back..."  
"No one is taking you away. No one"  
"I don't want to be hurt again"  
"I know. No ones going to hurt you... no ones going to hurt you"  
Marco smoothed his hair down, waiting until he'd pretty much sobbed himself limp before climbing off and pulling him up. Lifting him, Lance wrapped his legs around his brother, half wishing it was Keith holding him instead. He knew his "friends" had to fight, and it was cowardly to run away and leave them to it, but he just couldn't... he couldn't do it anymore. His best was never good enough and at the end of the day, he was just a poor boy from Cuba.

Carried into the house, Marco stayed with him. Helping him undress, and Lance wanted to scream when he'd realised he'd hurt himself while asleep. Long scratch marks ran down his arm, probably because he'd been trying so hard to get out the restraints in his nightmare. Climbing into the old bathtub, Marco readjusted the shower head, so the water would wash the vomit from his hair. He hadn't vomited since the first week he'd been back... he knew he was great, but he'd thought he'd been doing ok... but once again, he'd stuffed up. His best wasn't good enough and now everyone knew how broken he was.

When Lance was clean, Marco helped him from tub and wrapped a towel around his shoulders, making him sit and wait while his brother took a quick shower. All he could say was thank god for shower curtains, because they'd long passed the stage where it was acceptable to bath or shower together. Once done, the pair headed up to their second floor bedroom. Ernesto was watching TV when they walked in. The alpha kind enough to grab out a fresh set of pyjamas for the pair of them, and even kinder in the fact he waited until Lance was laying in bed before finally speaking up   
"You ok?"  
"Yeah... I'm sorry for waking you"  
"It's fine. That's some scream you've got"  
"Mami always said I was unnecessarily loud"  
"Are you alright to check the cows? I'm going to run him into town in the morning. He's got a bit of a fever"  
"It's probably my heat. I haven't had a proper one in so long... my body probably doesn't know what to do"  
"If it's his heat, I'll just find somewhere in town to crash"  
"No... you shouldn't have to leave"  
He liked Ernesto. Not love liked, but enough that they got on alright and he didn't want to cause the man trouble   
"Lance, it's fine. Do you really think me, or papi could let another alpha be around you if you're in heat?"  
"I'm sorry... I hate being an omega..."  
"You are perfectly fine the way you are. It's the world that. That's the problem. Now go back to sleep"  
"I don't know if I can... I... I was having trouble sleeping before I came home. I had powder to help, but I don't have any anymore"  
"You used to be able to sleep through anything"  
"I'm scared of not opening my eyes again"  
"You don't need to be scared, Ernesto and I are right here"  
Wiggling up behind him, Ernesto slung an arm over his waist  
"Yep. See. Nothing's going to happen"  
"You guys are really too much"  
"Shhh. Ernesto needs his sleep. He's got cows to play with"  
"Don't remind me. Why don't I get to sleep in?"  
"Because you've already said you'll look after them"  
"Fine. Lance, you better not be sick. I've never told Marco this, but I'm scared of cows"  
"How can you possibly be scared of cows?"  
"They're just big and the moo. What's with the moo?"  
Lance laughed, he couldn't help himself   
"Keith can't milk a cow... and both Allura and Coran love milkshakes, but they freaked over the idea of milking Kaltenecker. They tried asking her politely for milk, and having a conversation with her"  
"City people are so backwards"  
"Well they were asleep for 10,000 years"  
"See. That's how I want to go. Asleep for 10,000 years"  
"No you don't... it's scary..."  
"Why's it scary?"  
"When I died, there was nothing at all. Just... nothing. I was dead for a few minutes, and it was black and cold and lonely"  
"That's depressing"  
"Yeah. It's a stupid reason for not sleeping"  
"Is that why you sleep better during the day? Because of the light?"  
"I think so"  
"We can sleep with the light on"  
"I'm pretty sure we're too old to be doing that"  
"Speak for self man. I am in the prime of my life"  
Marco fumbled the lamp between the bed and the window on  
"Am I good? Or am I good?"  
"I'll let you know in the morning. Thanks for trying to talk to dad"  
"He's trying. He just doesn't always get it"  
"I know... still. Thanks"

Sandwiched between the two alphas, Lance slept through until morning. Ernesto not quite making it out to milk the cows...


	5. Chapter 5

Stumbling out the doctors orders, Lance was an absolute mess. He felt sick. Sicker than he had in months. Sicker than when his hip had been infected. His legs were barely holding him up, so when Marco lifted him into his hold, Lance was more than grateful. Burying his face against his brothers neck, he let out a rasping sob  
"Doc, what's wrong with my baby bro?"  
"He's going to be just fine, aren't you Lance?"  
"Marco, can we go. Can we please go home?"  
"You're not making me feel better"  
"If he gets plenty of rest and fluids, he'll be fine. I've already talked to Lance about what's going on. I won't be recording today's visit"  
"Thank you. Marco, can we go?"  
"Are you sure?"  
Placing a small brown bag in his lap, the doctor patted his shoulder. He didn't want to talk to Marco. He didn't want to talk to the kind old man who'd let him talk about space and his nightmares. He just wanted to go home.

Ernesto had waited out the front of the small surgery, leaning against the car, he flicked his cigarette down the street, before grabbing the door so Marco could lower him into the car. Climbing in beside him, Lance clutched his brother's shirt unable to calm down, even if he'd wanted to   
"Is he ok?"  
"I-it's hormones"  
"What did he say?"  
"It's hormones"  
"But he's ok?"  
"I don't know. He's too upset right now"  
"Little Lance, anything I can do?"  
Shaking his head, he didn't know what he wanted. But having Ernesto pull out a nickname he hadn't heard in years wasn't one of them  
"Sorry buddy, can you just take us back home. We'll come back once Lance is doing better"  
Shaking his head, Marco forced him to look at him. Lance hiccuping down breaths, as he tried to focus   
"Baby bro, you're distressed. Your scent is out of control and you haven't been keeping up with your beauty routine. You've got two big strong alphas worrying over you. Just shut up and let us look after you"

With his father and his grandfather downstairs, and Marco and Ernesto "making lunch" in the form of hovering outside the bathroom door while trying to be silent. Lance held the small stick in his hands... staring down at the two pink lines while the tears hit the plastic... when the doctor had taken a urine sample, he hadn't expected this, as he'd truly thought it was just his heat kicking in. Picking up the second stick... or the first stick seeing he'd peed on it first, he now has three positives... to go with a whole lot of negatives. His mother was going to kill him. He was a freak as it was. Now he was an unbonded freak without an alpha and a pup inside him. If the Galaxy Garrison ever found out, they'd take them away or make him get rid of it. Pulling himself up, Lance washed his hands, stumbling back from the sink as his knees gave out unexpectedly. Marco coming bursting through the bathroom the door   
"Shit Lance! What's going on?"  
"I'm sorry! I thought it was safe! I thought it was safe! I didn't... I didn't think it could happen. I didn't... I didn't mean... I didn't think it could happen. It wasn't supposed to happen. I swear! I swear it wasn't supposed to happen like this!"  
Pushing the sticks into Marco's hand, his brother sighed heavily   
"Oh baby brother..."  
"I swear... I didn't know I could get pregnant! I didn't even have my heat! I didn't have my heat! I just wanted him. I wanted to remember him. I didn't want this! I didn't! I just wanted something to remember..."  
"Is it Keith's?"  
"Marco. He can't know. He can never know. No one can. He's not human! He's not all human!"  
"Lance..."  
"Please! Please, he can't know!"  
"Ok, ok. Lance, you're ok. Ernesto, can you go get papi. Have him come meet us in our room"  
"No. He's going to be mad! I don't want to hurt again!"  
"Papi won't hurt you. Come here"  
Lifting him up again, Lance sniffled, he was exhausted all over again  
"I'm beginning to like this. It's much easier than walking"  
"You're so lazy"  
"Marco, don't be mean. I'm p-pregnant... oh fuck... what did I do?"  
Even trying to joke about wasn't happening  
"You really love him, don't you?"  
"More than everything else... but he can never know it's his"  
"Alright. Congratulations, you're sleeping with Ernesto"  
"What?! Marco! What?!"

Ernesto and his father were already sitting on the edge of the bed when Marco carried him in. His father frowning at the sight of him, causing Lance to whine   
"Ok. I think we all need to talk"  
"What's wrong with him?"  
"Nothing's exactly wrong with him"  
"Other than depression and flashbacks and PTSD..."  
"Shush you. Lance is pregnant"  
Oh lord. His father turned all kinds of red, before leaping to his feet  
"Who is he?! Or her?! I will find them and I will hurt them! How dare they harm my boy!"  
"Papi... it wasn't like that. You know Lance had that shot before he joined the Galaxy Garrison. You know it stopped his heats and took his scent away. He was for all purposes a beta-male, and beta-males can't fall pregnant. It wasn't until he was already home again that his scent came back. I don't think that any of us could have expected that consensual sex would have ended in him falling pregnant"  
"So..."  
"I had sex with the person I love. I didn't think I'd fall pregnant. I'm not supposed to be able to... well I wasn't supposed to be able to"  
"And the father?"  
"He can't know... he's not exactly completely human"  
"He's not human..."  
"He's mostly human... He looks human and he grew up not knowing he wasn't..."  
"Papi. If the Garrison finds out, there's a chance they'll want Lance to go with them. He might end up as a test subject for all we know... we've already lost him once. We can't lose him again"  
His father looked like he was about to keel over at any second, a loud and long string of curse words filled the room  
"I will not let my son be hurt"  
"See, I told you papi would be cool... and I've already worked the next bit out"  
"Marco..."  
"No. It's brilliant! Ernesto and I are both alphas and male. We can't make a baby together... but if Lance was our surrogate, while Ernesto is the father... it all makes it ok!"  
"So I slept Ernesto?"  
"You can say it just like that. It's not a lie. We all sleep next to each other, and... he's an alpha"  
"Marco... this isn't going to work"  
"If you stay out here, no ones going to know otherwise..."  
"Mami will kill me... so will Veronica and Louis"  
"Not if they think you've settled down with Ernesto"  
Sure Ernesto was some kind of cross between a Spanish Shiro and Marco, but nope. He wasn't getting any sexual vibes off him... though omegas did tend to get extremely horny while pregnant...  
"Ernesto, man, please help my little brother out. You don't have to bond with him, all you have to do is stick around, then you both can break up"  
"Marco, I don't want him lying for me. Can't we just tell mami and Veronica the truth? And if I do have to go out, can't I... I don't know. Hide it...? I don't want him having to lie"  
"Lance, why don't you get some rest? We'll talk about what to do"  
"It's my body! Don't I even get a say"  
Marco sat him down on the edge of the bed  
"Baby brother. Do you want your baby?"  
"Yes... but Keith can't know"  
"Then we'll figure this out. Now get some sleep. Stress isn't good for you or the pup"  
Marco kissed his forehead   
"Stop thinking too hard. We have so many kids in the family, we've got this"  
"I'm not giving my pup to Veronica or Louis"  
"Damn, baby bro. Your mind goes straight to some bad things. Just relax. It's all going to be ok"

The next day Marco called the family for a family meeting. The kitchen filled with mouthwatering scents... while Lance had been sobbing and screaming and pleading with his mami. His mami had been furious, but that had passed when she realised he truly love and adored Keith, and that he truly hadn't set out to get intentionally pregnant to trap the alpha. After her initial shock, she went back to doting on her baby boy, who could do no wrong. Veronica had been irritating, trying to say he wasn't fit to be a mother and the pup should go to her after it was born. Louis had called the whole thing a mistake and strongly hinted he should get an abortion, which didn't go over well with his mother. Her slipper mark still on his face the next day. Marco had kicked them all out the day after that, and things had kind of gone back to how it was... expect now he was stuck dealing with morning sickness and exhaustion. Sleeping through the day was the only thing that worked. He'd toss and turn all night, or wake up crying, or shaking, or vomiting, or kicking... which didn't go over well with two male alphas who appreciated their junk, and if he wanted to get fresh air, he had to "sneak out" at night. Which he had been. With nothing to do, he'd been practicing his "sharp" shooting and his sword skills with the a broken shovel handle for a sword. With all the hours training, and fighting for their lives, he'd found himself missing it... and it seemed as good as anything else was to cure his boredom. He could milk a cow, and pick some stupid vegetables. He hadn't come home to feel useless again.

Of course Marco and Ernesto knew he was in the barn, but the pair of them never interfered... though Lance kind of wished they would. With all his hormones and unresolved issues, he'd love to be able to thrown down seriously with both alphas. Being pregnant, they'd probably be against it... but he'd literally cried so much, it didn't seem like there were any tears left. He just... he felt hollow. The only reason to get up each morning, other than the nausea, was the pup inside him. His stomach still mostly flat, with the smallest little swell indicating that he was indeed pregnant. If all the maths added up, he'd be about 12 weeks. But with space, he never really was completely sure when it came to space time versus Earth time. Looking up to the second floor of the barn, Lance grabbed the paint pellet gun from beside him, aiming just above Marco and Ernesto, the pair didn't even see it coming as paint splattered across the wooden railing in front of them. Paintball in the castle would have been amazing... paintball at any time was amazing... even after Louis had "accidentally" shot him in the head. That's when their father had taken the guns away, and it'd only been by chance he'd found them buried in a super dusty corner of the barn  
"Lance! What the hell!?"  
"You shouldn't be spying. Be grateful papi hid these instead of taking them away"  
"I thought he burnt them"  
"Nope! Are you going to keep watching, or are you going to come down here?!"  
"We didn't want to be in the way"  
"But you're fine with spying?! I should kick your arses!"  
"Like you could"  
"I could beat both of you! Even pregnant!"  
"Lance, we're alphas!"  
"You might as well be betas! Pussies!"  
"Oh it is so on little bro!"

Running down the stairs Marco ran straight at him, Lance nimbly sidestepping him, before roundhouse kicking him in the back. Keeping the gun aimed at his brother as he looked to Ernesto. Ernesto wasn't too sure about facing him, pausing at the bottom of the stairs  
"Lance..."  
"It's fine. I think I can mess around with you two dorks easily enough. I'll even let you have a weapon"  
"Someone's cocky"  
"No. Someone is just tired of being kept in the house... seriously. I miss the sun!"  
"You do know you could just sleep in the sun"  
"And risk sunburn, honestly Marco. Do you ever use your brain?"  
"Do you?"  
Walking over to where Marco was standing, Ernesto kept his hands up in sign of surrender. Marco was smirking, like he had some kind of plan. Lance's plans might not be great, but Marco's usually ended with him punched in the face for flirting with someone's mate   
"Look. If things don't work out, we could all be in some kind of trouble. If you two morons can't beat me, you'll never be able to beat a Galra"  
"I don't think I want to. Lance, it's ok to stop all this"  
"It's not ok! Seriously Marco! I'm not getting better, I've just run out of tears! This. I trained for hours and hours. I got my arse handed to me, but I still had to keep training! I want to do this! I thought coming back would be easier than all of this! I thought it'd just... it would all work out!"  
Ernesto jogged over to him, pulling him into a hug as the gun slipped from Lance's hold. He smelt good... not like Keith, but warm  
"Why don't you reach out to them? Reach out to him?"  
"I can't... I don't... I don't even have his number. I've been lucky the government hasn't already come for me... I don't want to make this worse"  
It wasn't just life in danger. It was Keith's. It was their child's. It was his brother's and his father and then there was Ernesto... he didn't deserve that either  
"But you still love him?"  
"I think I'm always going to love him. I thought it would get better. That is forget him, but I can't! This is all I can do! We used to train for hours... I sucked, but he loved training. His mullet, his knives and fighting... that's Keith's world"  
"So training with someone else is going to help you get over him?"  
"Nothing else has..."  
"Marco, we're going to take Lance on..."  
"But he's pregnant"  
"Shut up, Marco!"

"Call it therapy then. We can't take him out and get him drunk. Besides, Lance, wanna see you shoot him"  
"I'm really good... really, really good"  
"I'm sure you are"  
Ernesto kissed the top of his head, his omega recoiling from the intimate touch... even if his every single in his family had done the same thing his whole life... but this wasn't the sire of his child...  
"Lance, you said you can use a sword?"  
"I... yeah?"  
"What are using at the moment?"  
"The blue shovel handle... but it's too light and I get splinters if I don't wrap my hands"  
"No more sword practising for now. We don't want you damaging them further"  
Ernesto took his right hand, intertwining their fingers together... oh fuck... Lance was sunk... Ernesto liked him, his smell was telling just how damn much... letting him nuzzle a little at his neck, Lance held still. Freaking the fuck out. Ernesto was a good man. A really good man. He'd been amazing... and he needed someone who could love him back completely. But maybe Lance could? With time? He was already "sleeping" with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Another 2 months passed, his stomach swelling as his libido did too. Marco had officially given him to Ernesto... to nuzzle and cuddle, and occasionally rut and grind against in his sleep. They hadn't had sex, because Ernesto knew he wasn't comfortable with the idea, and like he was, the alpha was a bit of a romantic. You only have sex with someone you love. Even if your scent is out of control, you're slicking like crazy and masturbating in the shower isn't giving you enough relief. If he gave in, Ernesto would give him the kind of life from the old movies he loved. A baby on his hip, playing housewife to the working husband. That's not to say he didn't work. While his mate was away, he'd do all the house work. He'd look after the kids, and he'd putter around the yard... forgetting he was cremating something in the oven. A completely normal life. No running for their lives. No explosions. No near death experiences or torture. Just sickening simple. And all he had to say was one word. A simple "yes". But he still couldn't get over Keith. Nor could he get over his trauma. He was too broken for an alpha to every really want, and Ernesto was just trying to help protect him.

At the moment, the pair of them were home alone. Mami had needed Marco's help for something, while papi had taken his grandfather a couple towns over to visit his uncle Hector. Lance's uncle. Not his grandfather's... because that would be weird and awkward. The man was dead. Looooong dead. Nuzzling into his pillow, Lance sighed. His libido was raging, his thighs coated with slick, and his skin felt all itchy. Rubbing his stomach through his oversized shirt, his ears pricked up at the sound of raised voices. That probably wasn't good.

Dressed in his underwear and shirt, Lance padded down to the front door. Ernesto was yelling at whoever was there in rapid Spanish, as his scent exploded. The alpha was the maddest he'd ever seen, and whoever it was, wasn't even getting a word in  
"Ernesto?"  
Stopping mid-rant, Ernesto looked to him, Lance half hidden by the wall by the staircase as he peeked around the edge. Ernesto never got this angry!  
"Go back to bed, Lance"  
"What's going on?"  
The door was jerk back violently, putting a hole in the thin wall where the handle hit it  
"Lance!"

Lance felt like his heart stopped. He reeled back, slick gushing in an attempt to lure the alpha closer. Trying to now shove his way into the house, Keith looked pissed. Ernesto gasped as Keith's elbow hit his know, Lance screamed, the alpha snarling as he tried to lift Keith off his feet and throw him back out the house   
"Stop it! Stop it both of you!"  
Screaming at the two alphas, they both looked to him  
"Get out! You're not welcome here"  
"Bullshit! Lance is my friend!"  
"Keith, just back up a bit..."  
"Keith?"  
Ernesto roared, while Lance flinched   
"You're Keith!"  
What the fuck was Allura doing here? Were they all here?! Whimpering, he dropped on the spot. He couldn't fucking breathe! His heart was pounding too hard. Hard enough to hurt his chest, and make breathing way too tender. Finally releasing Keith, Ernesto rushed to him  
"Lance, hey. It's ok. You're ok"  
"Can't..."  
"You can't breathe. Got it. Here. Focus on me"  
Taking his hands in his face, Ernesto tried to coach him into breathing normally, but Lance was in a world hurt. His stomach especially. It felt like his pup was trying to kick their way out. He didn't even know if was a boy or a girl. They couldn't exactly go to a hospital, so he hadn't even had an ultrasound   
"Lance?"  
"Get out of this fucking house before I kill you"  
"Ernesto... calm down"  
"No! These fuckers hurt you!"  
"Keith, what's going on?"  
And Hunk... for fucks sake  
"You need to leave"  
"Ernesto... no..."  
"But Lance, they hurt you"  
The look on the alpha's face hurt... his thumbs rubbing Lance's cheeks  
"Keith. Wait outside. I'm sorry Ernesto. They came after all this time... I want to know why. But will you stay?"  
"You want me to meet them?"  
"How often do you get to meet a real princess?"  
"Royalty is overrated. Can you stand?"  
"If you help?"  
Keith was still standing in the doorway, his eyes widening as Ernesto helped him from behind the wall, before his gaze settled on Lance's stomach  
"Keith, this is Ernesto. Ernesto, this is Keith. Keith is the Black Paladin of Voltron and was my friend. Let's sit on the veranda?"  
"Ok, can I get you anything?"  
A bucket full of courage and some concrete to harden him the fuck up. Keith stepped backwards, backing out the door as Pidge squeaked  
"Stop stepping on me!"  
"Then move back"

Standing in front of the group, Lance's hand went to his stomach, while Ernesto pulled him close   
"Lance!"  
"Oh my god! Are you pregnant?!"  
"Why didn't you tell us?!"  
"Who's the father?!"  
"You didn't tell us you were an omega?!"  
"Shut up! Just shut up! I don't want to fucking hear it! What the fuck are you all doing here?!"  
Pidge looked genuinely confused  
"The castle is nearly complete"  
"And how does that have anything to do with me?"  
"You're Red's..."  
"I'm fucking nothing. I left. She knows I left"  
"What? Why? What are you talking about?"  
Allura's eyes were wide, shimmering as if she was about to cry  
"You want me to say it so all fucking get it? None of you wanted me here. You left me a alone for phoebs! Fuck... you left me alone for months! Keith was the only one who bothered asking what was wrong"  
"You're the one who stopped talking to us"  
"Because every time I did, you'd tell me I was stupid and in the way! When I tried to help, you yelled at me!"  
"Are you seriously being selfish right now? You're the one who..."  
"Who what? Who cleaned up after you? Who cooked when you were tired? Who tried to get you all to take breaks and rest?"  
"Lance..."  
"Don't fucking say my name! We have been back for months! I'm sorry, but when did you ever try to talk to me?! None of you ever have a fuck about me... so I am fucking done with you all. I'm done!"  
"You're the one who just threw up aside! Stopped talking one day, for no reason and then got all sooky!"  
"Wow. Ok. Did any of you know I fucking died?! Did any of know I was dead?! Did you even care? No. You didn't. You would have preferred I just stayed dead! I was always a useless waste of space who never did good enough! So you can all go the fuck back to space. I am done"  
"When did you die...?"  
"Ask Allura. She knows all about it. But no. Obviously everything I wanted to say was about her rejecting me. I could even thank her. She didn't want to hear it. None of you treated me like I was person. Only like I was fucking burden and I am done"  
"What about Red?"  
"She'll choose her own pilot. Like I said. The moment we got back, I left. I bet you didn't even realise. Red and I have no bond anymore. She knows I'm never going back into space"  
With Romelle dressed in Red and hovering beside Keith, he was pretty sure they were a thing. He'd only ever been a pity fuck for the alpha. Turning in Ernesto's hold, Lance hid his face, sobbing hard. Nuzzling his forehead, Ernesto kissed it  
"You heard him. The way you treated him is absolutely disgusting. When he got home, he was grossly underweight. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He was jumping at everything and terrified. We've worked hard to get him back on his feet, and he's still suffering. Why couldn't you just leave him alone?"  
"Because... he's our friend"  
Allura sounded like she still believed it  
"I am not your friend! I was never your fucking friend! None of you want me! And I don't want any of you! I hate you all! I hate you!"  
Keith snarled, stepping forward. Ernesto grabbed the man's wrist before it could land on his shoulder  
"Touch him again and I will break you"  
"Lance... I thought... I thought we were..."  
"We were what? Friends? So did I. But that's all it ever was. A pity fuck for the fucked up omega! You had to do something. I couldn't even die right. Couldn't even die from blood poisoning right"  
"You said you loved me"  
"It was the omega. You know. Space and all that... Ernesto is my alpha. I'm staying here"  
"And he's the father?"  
"How is that any of your business? You used him up and threw him away. You weren't there while he was screaming. You weren't there when he was begging to die. You all forgot he existed until you needed him. You're not taking him. Now leave before I shoot you"  
"Ernesto?"  
"I'm not letting you take him"  
"Lance, do you really want to stay here?"  
"I do"  
Nope. He wanted Keith to sweep him out of Ernesto's arms and for them to run away into the night... but the universe needed Keith. It didn't need him  
"Then I guess this is goodbye"  
"It was goodbye the moment we arrived back on Earth. Don't pretend you didn't know that. You've never been stupid Keith. Not like I am..."  
Slumping against Ernesto, the alpha kissed his temple   
"Lance needs his rest. So does the pup. Don't let me catch you here again"

Pidge, Coran, Romelle, Krolia and Allura all shook their heads, talking over themselves as they tried to both apologise and say they needed him. Hunk shuffled back and forth, him and Ernesto both trying not to look at each other. Ernesto knew how close he'd been with Hunk. Hunk had been part of the family. His mami absolutely adored him... which meant they known each other for years. Ernesto was especially disgusted with the Hunk, and probably would have punched him if Lance hadn't been in his hold. Keith was still staring at his stomach, but there were tears in the alphas eyes. Placing his hands on Keith's shoulder, Shiro rubbed them. So they'd built him a new arm... that was cool. Good for him  
"Lance..."  
"Save it Shiro. I don't want to hear it... it's too late"  
"You were a good Paladin. We'll miss you. Keith, come on"  
"Just give me a tick"  
"Alright, we'll be waiting up in Black"

Well this was awkward. In the arms of the alpha who maybe loved him. Looking at the alpha he loved, and who's arms he wanted to be in  
"Lance... did it really mean nothing to you?"  
"I was coming off my medication. I'm sorry Keith. I thought I loved you, but... I'm happy here. I have a baby coming and a life. It might not be saving the Galaxy, but for me, it's enough"  
"I..."  
"Don't say it. I don't deserve to hear it. You're a great leader, and you always will be. Go back to space. Marry Romelle and be happy. That's all I want for you, is for you to be happy"  
"Lance, he hurt you. How can you want him happy?"  
"Because he reached out his hand... Ernesto, can we go back upstairs now? My stomach really hurts"  
"I've got you"  
Ernesto lifted him, the alpha moving towards the stairs   
"Close the door on the way out"

And that was it. They were gone. Keith was never going to come back to him, or back for him. He'd never see the alpha again, and the last thing he'd told the others was that he hated them. He didn't hate them. Not really. Not like he thought he had. No. All he could think about was how badly he'd hurt Keith. He loved him. He loved him so much and the moment he'd looked at him, he knew he'd never not love him. Ernesto laid him down, Lance clinging to him as he screamed  
"Shhh. You're ok"  
Screaming until he couldn't scream any longer. Ernesto laid beneath him, rubbing his back as he shook  
"I love him! I love and I want to be with him! But the universe needs him more than I do! What did I do?! He was right there. He was right there. I love him... I love him and I hurt him... I..."  
"Lance... it's ok"  
"It's not ok. I wanted to forget him... but I can't... and I can't love you like that. I'm sorry..."  
"It's ok. I already know"  
"It's not ok. You're an amazing alpha. You help me all the time and you're so kind, but I can't... I love him..."  
"You don't need to apologise for how you feel"  
Tell that to his body. He could smell how badly he was slicking. He could tell how badly it was affecting Ernesto. He didn't know what to do. His heart had broken for the last time and he knew it was never going to be ok again. Staring into Ernesto's eyes, the alpha smiled softly  
"You really are pretty"  
"Are you hitting in me?"  
"Maybe"  
"I'm tired of being alone. I don't want to be alone anymore"  
"Just leave it to me"

Ernesto was soft and sweet. His touch completely different from Keith's, yet welcoming. His body needed this. Ernesto knew what he needed better than he did. Tangled in the sheets together, Ernesto kissed away his tears as he came. The alpha spooning around him protectively as his hand splayed across Lance's stomach, his finger tips digging in lightly. That was the first time they had sex.


	7. Chapter 7

Marco had been furious when he returned, promising to kill Keith if he ever came back again... but it wasn't like he ever would. They'd said goodbye and that was it. He wasn't ecstatic that Lance and Ernesto had spent the day having sex, but did accept that Lance's body was changing and he had "needs", and it wasn't like Ernesto didn't know this was just a way to get rid of their excess stress. Soon it became quite common for them to be sneaking around the house, having sex whenever either of them felt like it. All the while his stomach was growing heavier, while his mind was growing worse. He didn't have enough hours in the day to chase the reprieve from thinking that sex brought, and his depression was only growing worse and worse. There'd been a public news announcement. Voltron had left. Romelle dressed in the armour of the Red Paladin, which had been Keith's and not his own blue set. They were gone. They were gone and he was never going to see the mysteries of the universe again.

In his eight month, Ernesto left. Lance really couldn't blame him. He could barely find the energy to talk to anyone anymore, and Ernesto deserved more than that. More than his silent tears, and more than him staring out at the night sky, wondering if they were ok. Wondering if they'd defeated Sendak. They probably had. The castle would be filled with pilots and engineers, probably cleaners too. Coran wouldn't know what to do with himself. Yorak would have so many new people to talk to. He missed him. He missed having someone to talk to that wouldn't judge him. Even Marco had grown tired of him. His brother now only really spoke to him when he came to bed. The double bed and single now pushed to the opposite sides of the room, with the ground between seemingly too big to cross. If he reached out his hand, he knew his brother would take it, yet he couldn't. He couldn't drag everyone further down with him.

His mami... his mami was coming to stay for the last two or so months of pregnancy. Lance's stomach so full and heavy, that getting out of bed was hard. Or maybe it was because he'd weakened so much. His ribs visible beneath his small breasts, and his colour always so sickly. It felt like his life was draining into his child, and all it took was the smallest bump for him to bruise. If Keith was here, Keith would make him eat. Even if he had to force the food down his throat. If Keith was here, he wouldn't have to hide like this. If Keith was here, they'd spend hours curled around each other, talking about random pointless stuff, while the alpha kept a hand on his stomach, talking to their pup. In his mind, he liked to believe that's how things would have been. There'd be no war. No fighting for their lives. No running and shooting. But Lance knew the weight of reality. He knew how hard they'd be fighting. He knew they'd be out their protecting Earth. Protecting Keith's child that they didn't know was his.

 

*  
When his mami finally came she cried and cried, leaving Lance feeling guilty. He'd couldn't make his mother happy. He couldn't even make himself happy. His papi had left for a job in town, the world outside the window now grey with storm clouds. The farm was way too much work in the winter months, so it was just his mami, his brother and his grandfather. Marco stuck carrying him around the house at his mother's request. They were working on getting him up and moving, his mother having already found him a job for after the baby was born. The property next door to their farm belonged to the Rodriguez family. The man needed a live in house keeper, and knew about Lance's "condition". In exchange for Lance cooking, cleaning, and help with technology, he was happy to give him a small wage and safe space to raise his child. No strings or questions. Having never married and having never had children, old Mr Rodriguez had doted on all of them when they were children... he couldn't remember when they stopped visiting him, but he only had warm memories of the house. Living with his family was nice, but it felt like his pregnancy had fractured the family. He'd thought they'd all be as close as they used to be, but Veronica and Louis never called like they used to. The last time he'd talked to his sister had ended up with her calling him a psychotic disgrace. Louis probably didn't want to be dragged into the mess, so had kept his distance. He couldn't care anymore. He'd have his pup and a job, but more important, a safe place for his child to explore. It wasn't everyone's happy ending, but it was his, and he gratefully accepted the job.

After that, Marco was away more during the day. Usually over at the Rodriguez house making sure everything was organised for after the birth. His mami would sit and read to him, or climb into bed next to him and hold him for hours at a time. He couldn't tell her everything, but being held helped.

 

*  
He was past due, and in a world of hurt. If he hadn't gone into labour before his second week over started, his mother wanted to take him into town. He was uncomfortable, fat and tender. Though his mami still told him a hundred times a day that he was beautiful. She'd also taken way too many photos of him, for when his child was old enough to ask what it was like being pregnant.

They'd been sitting down watching TV when his water broke. Nested between Marco's legs with his side against his brother's chest, he'd been cramping uncomfortable all day. Laying like this had helped, and Marco hadn't pushed him off. Not like when it actually happened. His brother groaning and pulling Lance out of his thoughts   
"What happened?"  
"Lance wet himself"  
"No I didn't"  
Having had to pee all the time, he was pretty sure he had nothing left to pee  
"Baby bro, my pants are wet and so are yours"  
"I didn't wet myself!"  
Marco paled, looking from him to their mother   
"Mami, you don't think..."  
"Oh my goodness"  
"What are you two talking about?"  
"Lance... are you in labour?"  
"What?"  
"Oh my baby. It's finally happening"  
"Wouldn't... what... no..."  
"Marco, help him upstairs"  
"Hey..."  
"My baby, you will be just fine. Marco, I'll get the towels. You help him undress"

When Marco tried to help him stand, the change in position made him nearly drop. The cramping feeling shifting to much lower. This... this was actually happening... he waited months for this... and now... he wasn't ready. All the baby things he had didn't seem enough. He didn't know what to do... carrying him up to their room, Marco laid him down on the bed, his hands sliding off his pants while he swore under his breath. Even facing Lotor hadn't been this scary. He was about to bring a new life into the world...

His labour lasted for hours. He was exhausted and feverish, and no anther what he did, he couldn't get comfortable as he faded in and out of consciousness the next two days. He'd heard his mother and brother fighting over bringing a doctor out to help, but hadn't had the strength to input anything into the conversation. It was the early hours of the third day that his mother gently woke him. His vision swimming as he tried to focus on her voice. He knew what she was saying. His instincts having gone into over drive. It was time to push.

Kneeling between his mother and brother his knees apart, his hands gripped Marco's arms as his body felt like it was being torn apart. He was sobbing and crying, whining for Keith. Begging for his alpha to help him. It hurt so much. So very much, and he just didn't have the energy to push. His brother was praying while his mother tried to guide the pauses between pushing. In the air the smell of the two worried alphas was smothered by the smell of blood. If he could have looked down, he would have found his legs covered in it. Delirious and lightheaded, he had no idea how long he'd been pushing, but finally... there was a huge amount of pressure followed by relief. Collapsing forward, Marco kissed his sweet hair, telling him how good he did. He passed out before he heard anything else.

His brief state of unconsciousness came to an end half an hour later. Waking to find himself laying back against the blankets with Marco holding his hand, he half screamed as he pushed down. Marco drawing back in fear and confusion, screaming for their mother. No one had expected a second pup. The birth even more painful than the first time due to the exhaustion and way too brief respite. As the second pup came into the world, Lance passed out again.

*  
For the first week of his twins life, Lance was mostly out of it. His body burning as his brother wiped his face and his mother tended to his children. At some point a doctor had come, an IV set up beside the bed. Lance only really remembered him once, but if someone told him he'd been there the whole time, he'd have believed them. He hadn't even gotten to hold them yet, and chest ached so badly with unspilt milk. He would find out later that his heart stopped, and that Marco had been the one to bring him back.

The second week was better. The IV removed, and though weak, he was able to finally meet his children. Two beautiful pups who looked so much like Keith that it hurt. Laith and Lena. For the first time in months, the tears he wept were of happiness. Everything about them was so completely perfect, and he'd honestly never been prouder. The love he felt for them made it seem like his love for Keith had never existed. These two tiny people were his world. His absolute world, and he'd never let them go.

The third week after they were born, the family was invited to meet them. Both pups looked completely human, the only "imperfection" was the matching purple birthmarks they carried on their hips. Laith's on his left and Lena's on her right. There was kind of a purple tinge to Lena's hair, but that might have just been the light. Settled in the corner of the living room, gifts covered every surface that the omega could see. The house was filled with love and laughter, even Veronica had made an appearance, but more importantly Ernesto had to. The alpha even bringing each pup a stuffed bear, he'd tried to apologise, but the way he saw it, Ernesto had nothing to apologise for. He'd tried his hardest to fix Lance's broken heart, and Lance had tried to maybe love him. It just hadn't worked out. He was more relieved than Ernesto seemed to be doing so well. The alpha looked happy, and given how happy Lance was feeling, it was relieving.

A month after the pups birth, Lance was finally able to get up to bath himself alone. It was weird to bath without the pups, because everything he did now revolved around them. His omega was so busy being preoccupied with them, that his nightmares had actually lessened. His mother had warned it would be temporary, but he didn't care. Every time he felt down, he'd look at his sleeping pups. He wasn't alone anymore. He wasn't being selfish and fighting for himself. No matter his lack of own self worth, he had to protect them. He never wanted them to see him cry... which he soon realised was completely naive new mum thinking.

Six weeks after the birth, Lance moved into the Rodriguez house. Marco crying just as much as he did over it all. His brother was fantastic with the pups. When they wouldn't settle, he'd spend hours talking to them, or singing to them. He stayed up on the nights Lance got no sleep so he wouldn't have to be alone, and now both of them were finding it hard to say goodbye... even though they were only half an hour from each other... 

His room in the Rodriguez house was large and airy. The lower third was class with wooden panelling painted white, while above was soft blue floral wallpaper. His bed was white, wrought iron, with a thick mattress and thick blankets. He wondered momentarily if they'd gotten new mattresses on the castle, before telling himself "no" firmly. He wasn't going there. For Laith and Lena's sake, he wasn't. With the room being so large, two cribs sat against the wall opposite his bed. One white, which was the original one purchased when they thought he was having one pup, and a light natural wood for the second. He was kind of relieved they were different. From a first glance, you could barely tell them apart, so if they had their own different cribs, they'd be so much easier to tell apart. White for Lena. Wood for Laith. He wanted to treat his daughter like a princess... but felt like that meant he didn't love Laith enough... so Laith ended up with the white crib. To help him adjust to the first week here, his mami was going to visit every day, bringing his grandfather down, which was kind of nice for the old man... as long as they didn't start drinking... he'd have to hide the alcohol the first chance he got.

 

*  
It was surprising how easily it was to adjust to living in the old farm house. The pups were upset for the first month, serenading him at all mornings of the day and night, but Mr Rodriguez was happy to have a hold or cuddle while Lance went about his work. The man had fallen and fractured his hip, that was what had prompted his need for house keeper, and Lance felt like he was practically on holiday. His day started with a morning feed for the pups, followed by mopping all the floors before Mr Rodriguez woke, the man had told him to call him Tony but that felt wrong. He'd open the house up to air it, provided it wasn't too cold. If it was, he'd wait until night to mop the floors and limit the slip risk. After the floors were done, he got an hours lay down, which was spent with the twins in his bed. Breakfast was at 7, so that was super reasonable. After breakfast he'd help Mr Rodriguez with his medication, the do the dishes. The old man would potter off for a few hours, which was when Lance took a shower and washed the pups, before coming back for lunch at 12. He took a nap from one to three, so Lance would leave the pups sleeping in the living room. If it was too cold outside, he'd build a fire for the three of them, while he did dinner prep. Mr Rodriguez was a meat and potatoes kind of man. And between them, a small roast usually did enough for that night and the following night. Though sometimes they got creative and Lance would cook the dishes his mother had taught him. There was also sewinf and darning. Something that had hadn't been sure when he'd first started. The old man baskets of stuff he'd "always meant to mend, but had never got around to". By the time Lance was done with it all, Mr Rodriguez's wardrobe was over flowing. The man clearly didn't lack for money. As for food, Marco would bring vegetable, eggs and milk down if he needed them, Lance would pay him with his wages, and if they needed a big shop, all he had to do was text Marco. His life was simple, but he was enjoying helping someone in a way that didn't end with blood and gun fire. Mr Rodriguez never asked him about his nightmares, and didn't make him feel weak for being an omega. He was a long way away from being happy on the same level he used to be... back before Keith left to join the Blade, but instead he was much more content. His kids were safe. He was safe. He was helping and he did a job he was proud of, and his work was actually appreciated. He definitely did not miss Voltron... and he definitely did not watch the stars... ok, he did. But that was purely because of the pups. He just wanted to make sure they knew their daddy was out there making the universe a better place.


	8. Chapter 8

For five years Lance knew peace. Mr Rodriguez had had a stroke, which left him bedridden, but the twins adored him, spending hours listening to him slur out his stories. Lena's hair was now a deep shimmering purple, while Laith... Laith was the splitting image of Keith, even down to the scowl he'd never even seen. He was so much like his father that it Lance couldn't forget Keith, even if he'd wanted to. He still loved Keith with the same burning loved he'd had before they'd parted ways. He could only image how much Keith would have grown and changed. How much good Voltron would have done without him. How happy they'd be now he was holding them back. He'd never imagined he'd see them again. His only real reminder was the orange shirt Keith had bought him, hanging in his wardrobe where it was nice and safe, and where he'd spent a few minutes every night staring at it before climbing into bed with the twins. All of now seemed like some kind of dream, and he'd accepted he'd never be the same mentally. His nightmares had faded, only waking maybe once a month because of them, and not every single day. His depression was still just as crippling, and his anxiety levels were off the charts if he wasn't home, but when he was home, he could relax. He could smile and laugh. He could dance and sing with his kids in the kitchen. Lena loved to draw, but Laith could actually sing. Since his grandpa's passing, the farm was now in the hands of Ernesto and Marco, the pair falling into bed with each other, and still together 2 years later, building the farm back up, with pigs and sheep for meat to sell. Unashamedly, Lance had teased the hell out of them when he'd found out. He and Marco talking about Ernesto's technique in bed until the alpha would get all huffy and sulk off to play with the twins. At night they'd come down to keep him company, both twins always making up excuses to stay up late, just to spend time with them. Marco loved it, while Ernesto would try to persuade them to go back to bed... it never worked. Yeah. He'd found his happy ending, and if things could have continued like this, things would have been perfect.

Only, after avoiding space for the last five years, it came to find him.

Laying in bed with the twins, Lena was telling him all about the frog she'd found in living room, while Laith was trying to tell him the exact same story... only with a sulk pout on his face because they'd found it together and Lena hadn't said that. Outside the window glowed, the pups both shooting out the bed and over to the window as the whole house shook. Lance instantly on guard, his omega screaming at him. Leaving the twins to stay with Mr Rodriguez, he grabbed the gun from on top of the spare bedrooms wardrobe and went running out into the yard. He may have started up his training again on the off chance this day would come, and he'd have to protect his pups.

Running towards the pilot climbing out the fighter jet, he fired, the bullet hitting the Galra soldier in the shoulder, but barely doing any damage. A scout ship? All he could think was "why me?"... and that he was glad they weren't Sendak's size. He hadn't been a Paladin for years. Everyone who knew his face should be long dead... on the bad guys side at least. Yet someone knew he was here, and who he used to be. With the gun practically useless, he had to reassess. He was running too fast to stop, so he used it like a sword, his steps light as he zigzagged to avoided the shots of pink flying at him. He'd fucking missed this... why had he missed this?! He'd left to escape all this! Reaching the first Galra, he dropped low, tackling him around the waist and driving him down, pink blasts trailing warmth over his back, the soldiers blade slicing his arm as he fought for it. Maybe he'd gotten bigger, but this Galra definitely seemed smaller. Driving his knee up against the Galra's crotch, he tried to gain some kind of traction on the wet night grass, only for the Galra to fight harder against him. Hearing the heavy footprints and breathing of the second solider, he waited until the last possible second before using the Galra's momentum, rolling them over using the one he'd been struggling with as a shield as pink shots exploded from the raised gun, the top soldier dead before he could even realise. Grabbing the free blade, Lance kicked him off, smirking as he did. One down. One to go and then his pups were going to be just fine...  
"Who the fuck are you? Who sent you!?"  
"You're the Red Paladin..."  
"Nope. I'm retired. You're working on old information buddy"  
"I will have your head!"  
"Or, I could have yours. You're going to die here and I'm going to go back into that house and forget all about this"

In a move Keith would have been proud of, Lance threw the blade, embedding it in the Galra's gun, causing the gun to short out, as it dropped to the ground Lance charged, grabbing his own gun to as he did. Kicking the Galra as hard as he could, he brought his gun down against his face as at the soldier fumbled his own blade out. They didn't have the distance to be shooting at each other. And... Wow. Standards had definitely dropped since he'd last seen them. Grabbing the arm holding the blade, he pushed back against the Galra as he bent his right arm, pulling the trigger as the barrel passed the soldiers throat. Caught off guard, the Galra reeled back, Lance already aiming, ignoring the kickback, firing in the throat again before the Galra rammed his blade into his side, the dumb soldier's hand sliding down the hilt as he did. Howling in rage, Lance ripped the blade out, swinging his arm wide as Galra staggered, aiming for the soldiers neck. He hadn't missed being stabbed. Gurgling and choking on his own blood, the soldier laughed   
"What's so funny?!"  
"You think you've won... the others are coming"  
Nope. He was not dealing with that... this was bad enough and they'd come too close to his babies. Shoving the Galra down, Lance rode him to the ground, raising the blade high before stabbing down into its chest repeatedly. If this was the start... they were fucked. The Garrison should have picked up on the fighter jet entering the atmosphere... or better yet, the solar system. Shit! Clamping one hand to the wound, Lance climbed into the cockpit, wrinkling his nose at the stink. Did these people not bath?! He'd never gotten to ask Keith if they did... if the Blades did. He knew Keith did... but most Galra actually really stank. Lotor not toooo badly, but he was half Altean. Couldn't Honerva spent 5 minutes to teach the whole damn race to bath before becoming Haggar! Groaning at the controls, he cursed himself for not knowing enough Galra and with the jet off, he couldn't work the comms... fuck. They'd shoot him down if he piloted it to the Garrison... double fuck... not that he had Galra blood... triple fuck.

Dragging himself back out, he slid his phone from his jeans. Already hating the call he had to make before did. Marco was going to be pissed...

 

*  
"Lance!"  
Running to his side, Lance moaned weakly as Marco pushed him up from where he was sitting slouched against the fighter jet, his brother beginning to panic as he tried to pull Lance's hands from his stomach wound. It didn't seem to be as bad as he'd initially thought, but there was a whole lot of blood that wasn't stopping, and there was an underlying burn which didn't feel great or normal. Marco absolutely couldn't know about that  
"What is that?"  
"Galra fighter jet. Though I don't know why they were using for scouting... usually their on battleships and we'd be able to see one of those from here... but they came here looking for me"  
"And they got you by the look of it"  
Replacing his hands with his, Marco frowned at him   
"You need a doctor"  
"No. There's things that need to be done"  
"Lance..."  
"Marco, listen to me. I know what to do. This was my life. They can't find Laith and Lena here. Laith looks human, but Lena's hair doesn't. Anyone who's seen Krolia is gonna know they're related. If they find them, they'll take them. Ernesto, their in Mr Rodriguez's room. Make sure they don't see this and that he's ok"  
"Marco?"  
"Don't ask Marco! I know you can do this. You need to do this for me. These jets can be tracked. If the Garrison missed it, something's really wrong. Ernesto, take the kids. Don't call anyone. You weren't here ok. I called Marco. Marco left. You don't know what happened. Now go"  
"R-right..."  
Ernesto took off running towards the house. Marco readjusted the hold against his side  
"You're going to be ok"  
"I got lucky. There were only two of them, and I'm guessing their intelligence level made them perfect scouting sacrifices. They knew who I was and where I was. That means more will be coming, you need to call the Garrison and tell them what happened"  
"I need to get you to a hospital"  
"Marco! Listen to me. We don't have time for this! Millions of people died because of the Galra. We can't let touch Earth. You need to do this for me"  
Reaching out a bloodied hand, he cupped the right side of his brothers face  
"Please Marco. You're my team. You're my back up. I need you to call the Garrison"  
"This wasn't supposed to happen!"  
"I know... I know you're scared, but I've been shot and I've been stabbed before. If I could pilot this Galra jet myself, I would. But I don't have Galra blood. If the Garrison finds the kids, they can use that. I don't want that for them"  
Marco took his hand and pressed back to his stomach   
"Hold here"  
"Thank you"

Lance zoned in and out as Marco yelled into his phone. The wound might not have been severe but without treatment, things weren't going so great. The only good thing was that Ernesto had taken the kids already, the headlight of his car momentarily blinding him. Zoning back in, Marco was off the phone, trying to get him to move  
"They're coming"  
"Good... we can't leave these weapons here. Grab the gun, but leave the blades"  
"The gun?"  
"Yeah. Old man Rodriguez's '47. I know they're pretty much antiques, but I still don't think I want to know how he got it, and I don't think he's going to want the world to know about it"  
"You're bleeding and all you can think about is that..."  
"Marco. This isn't the first time. Now you really need to pull it together and we need to get back into the house. I'm sure the Garrison is going to get here soon, but if a second jet lands, I don't know if I can keep you safe"  
"I'm supposed to be keeping you safe!"  
"And I'm ok! Just grab the gun, and the one off the dead guy behind you"  
"What gun?"  
"Ugh. I'll do it myself"  
Why did his brother have to be so clueless about space guns?! Honestly. He'd been told all about them?!

Still bleeding, Marco carried him into the kitchen, laying him down on the table as he directed. He kept a first aid kit in the bathroom because Laith had slipped once, cutting his hand on the kitchen counter as he fell. Since then, he was glad it was here. Sitting up enough to see the wound site, Lance whimper as he pealed his shirt off   
"What are you doing?!"  
"We need to clean the wound and dress it"  
"I know that"  
"You're freaking out"  
"You were stabbed by an alien!"  
"Your niece and nephew are part alien! Don't make it sound so strange!"  
"Wait... is Keith like that?"  
"No, his mother is part Galra. I don't know if she's full Galra, she's not big and hairy like most of them. Give me the rubbing alcohol"  
"I can do it"  
"Then hurry up and fucking do it"  
"Fine"  
Marco squirted the wound down, Lance screaming as he did. He hoped Mr Rodriguez was alright. And asleep... or thinking he was having a nightmare...  
"Fuck, Marco! Who gave you first aid training?"  
"Mami"  
"That explains it. How deep is it?"  
"I don't know"  
"Then look"  
Marco prodded the area, pain radiating out as he spasmed from it   
"I said look!"  
"It doesn't look deep"  
"Then get a dressing on it. They'll probably make me go to hospital"  
"I thought you didn't like hospitals"  
"I don't. But there's a procedure that needs to be put into place when dealing with something like this. The Garrison is going to want to keep it quite, which is perfectly fine with me. The problem is... They're going to take one look at me and know I was pregnant"  
"He's Ernesto's"  
"Marco, he's your partner"  
"And we'd both do anything for you. It's not like his father is on the birth certificate"  
"I still want Keith to know. Someday. If things go to shit. I need you tell him this. I need you tell him that I got my happy ending. That I was happy and I never ever stopped loving him. That the kids are his and I never meant to hurt him, but the universe needed him more than I did and that I was happy"  
"I'm not telling him anything!"  
"Marco! He's the father of Laith and Lena! I wouldn't have them if it wasn't for him! I need you tell him I was happy!"  
Marco didn't look impressed  
"Please. Promise me you'll tell him"  
"Tell him yourself..."  
That was as good as he was going to get  
"Thanks Marco. I know I've been a huge pain since I came home, but I really do love you. And I really am happy here"  
"At what price though. You were hunted down today"  
"I know... I know it was stupid think the past wouldn't find me... but if the Garrison can figure out how it happened, I can stay here?"  
"If they can't?"  
"Then I have to go. I can't put Laith and Lena in danger. I can't put you or Ernesto or Mr Rodriguez is danger..."  
"Lance, you can't run"  
"I can if I need to"  
"And what if you die?! You're still bleeding like crazy!"  
"If I die, then you guys will be safe. They can't hunt a dead guy"  
"I'm being serious"  
"So am I... now finish dressing it. I'm getting sleepy"  
"You're supposed to stay awake! I don't know what to say"  
Lance snorted and wheezed, gasping for breath before nodding to Marco  
"Tell them what you saw. Two dead Galra and your brother bleeding. Just leave the kids out"  
"Stupido"  
"Probably..."  
He was definitely going to pass out, and definitely going to scare Marco even further... and he did both as his brother tried to help him off the kitchen table while the front yard exploded into sea of flame.


	9. Chapter 9

Keith was tired. A bone numblingly empty tiredness that hadn't left him once in the last five years, but after five years they were finally back on Earth. The Galaxy Garrison had called to say there had been Galra reported on Earth. Their return had been delayed thanks to Red, the lion stopping mid battle, her shields raising the moment they'd returned to the castle, and Romelle forcibly evicted, remaining in place since. But he couldn't care less. He was done. He was tired of leading Voltron. He was tired of bowing and scraping to people who had no idea what war was really like, but most of all, he was tired of living without Lance. The castle wasn't the same. Voltron wasn't the same. Nothing was the same. There was a castle of people, but it was all cold and empty without Lance. He'd tried. He'd tried to forget the beautiful omega who'd played at being a beta for way too long. He tried to forget the way Lance laughed. The way he smiled. His stupid jokes and stupider puns. He didn't care if Lance had another alpha. He loved him. He loved him and he finally wanted to say out loud. He wanted to tell him he'd always been sorry he could say it out loud. He'd tried dating Romelle. He'd given it the best he could, but he never loved her. He never touched her the way she wanted. He just... he was haunted by his regrets of not making Lance see how much he truly meant to him. He adored him... and he'd let him go because he knew Lance was broken. He didn't want him breaking further and losing his love for life.

But five years had passed now. They'd been stuck in a god awful war with Sendak, and the legacy Sendak had left behind. Galra after Galra all fighting to lead, all just blood thirsty animals, happy to leave destruction where they stepped. They'd all changed. Lance not being here had ruined the team dynamic completely. If it wasn't for the support staff that filled the castle, the would have fallen apart. No one seemed to have a kind word. Pidge saw Lance as selfish. Hunk was mad his "best friend" hadn't told him he was an omega. For Coran it had been like losing a son. When anyone mentioned Lance, he'd have to rush off. Allura just stopped talking about him. Romelle constantly lived in his shadow as Red begrudgingly allowed her to pilot her. Shiro had tried to help, but he and Lance had never made up. Lance had told him he was ok with the physical and verbal abuse, but Shiro hadn't gotten to sit down and talk to him about it. His mother had actually been on Lance's side, which he couldn't understand and last of all, Yorak... Yorak hadn't been the same. He'd pined for Lance, almost as much as Keith had. He'd visited Red almost every day he could, but never found him. He'd even found Lance's clothes and socks he'd stolen, keeping them safely in his bed, and growling at anyone who went near them.

 

And now. Now he was walking down the castle ramp, his shoulders squared, his posture tall. He was going to see Lance and finally tell him the truth of it all. Greeting them at the bottom of the ramp, somehow Iverson had gotten himself a promotion, standing next to Sam Holt, the man looking almost pained at the sight of them. Brushing past Pidge ran down to her father, throwing her arms around him  
"Dad!"  
"Hey kiddo"  
"Dad, I'm not a kid anymore"  
"You'll always be my little girl. We need to get you out of here. There's a lot going on"  
Keith stepped off the ramp, eyeing the sight around him. Everything was in a flurry  
"More Galra?"  
"Not since the first fighter jet"  
"Did you capture the Galra?"  
"No. They were taken care of, the jet was one of the new models with a dirty bomb"  
The Galra had started tethering bombs to the under carriages of the fighter jets. Pidge calling it a dirty trick, and there after a dirty bomb. Linked to the pilot, if the pilot died, the device was triggered, all on random timers and tamper proof. It was their was of getting back at rebel forces that might try to take the jet to bolster their numbers or for scrap. They'd lost a whole team of scientists the first time it'd happened, so now they only killed once the jet was out of the way  
"Whoa! For real? Where'd it land? Did they get any information out of them? We didn't pick up any ships on the scanners"

Keith placed his hand on Pidge's shoulder, moving her out the way  
"What aren't you telling us? I can see it on your face. There's something wrong"  
Sam Holt nodded, ignoring Iversons scowl  
"They were after Lance"  
Keith saw red  
"He killed them..."  
"But..."  
"He was poisoned. He's already been released back to Cuba"  
He was going to Lance. He was going to protect his omega. His mate. His omega. He would protect Lance and everything Lance held dear. Even if they were only friends, he'd never let the omega be harmed again. Ever. He'd never forgotten the pain Lance had been in. The sheer agony and the unending tears. If only he'd spoken up. If only he'd done more. But they'd only had those two nights. Those two nights were like a dream. Lance moaning so openly for him. His eyes finally dried of tears. His lips whispering his love for him. Apologising for being so selfish. Keith had seen the end coming, but had thought that with time Lance would come back to them... to him. But he'd fallen pregnant. He had an alpha. He had someone else there for him when he screamed in the night. Even if they were still together, Keith wanted to be there with him. He wanted to watch over Lance and his child. Black already knew his decision. His mother too. The others had no idea, and he when thought of Lance and how they'd treated him, he didn't want to tell them. Lance had slipped away. He'd left when they should have been celebrating together as team. The win had been Lance's, just as much as everyone else's. Perhaps even more. Lance had given his heart and soul to Voltron, only to be tossed aside. He couldn't forgive that. Even when he tried. All these things that went unsaid. Too many things and way too many regrets. He had too many regrets and now he was tired of them all.

Keith took off running, back into the castle. He didn't care about the voices yelling at him to stop. He had to get to Lance. To Cuba. Back to that farm that he couldn't forget. Throwing himself into Black, his lion roared, sensing his distress and panic. His urgency. His absolute need to get to Lance. Leaving his comms off, or rather ignoring the calls, Black already knew what to do and where to go. He'd pulled up the map often enough... Keith's heart was racing. His alpha screaming. He needed to get there.

 

*  
Keith saw the blast site long before he landed. The old farm front building singed by the crater. Landing Black over it, he realised he wasn't the only one here. Two kids were swinging on a swing set that had seen better days, the tips of their shoes dragging in the sand, with an aura of sadness around them. Rather than approaching the house, Keith felt drawn to the two kids. His own sad childhood memories catching him unaware.

Walking over to the pair, Keith squatted down. Knowing the truth the moment they looked up. The boy looked just like him, and the girl... so much like his mother... his alpha knew it too. These were his kids. The scent so much like his... but so much like Lance's. Fuck... he wanted to see him...  
"Hey, you ok?"  
Sniffling, the boy got off his swing, taking his sister hand   
"Mummy said we weren't supposed to talk to strangers"  
"Your mummy is Lance right? Is he here?"  
"He's..."  
"Laith, you know you're not allowed to talk to anyone. Uncle Ernesto said..."  
Uncle Ernesto? So Ernesto was still around?  
"But Lena, he knows mummy"  
"Laith! Lena! What are you doing!? Get back inside!"  
The woman yelling at them from the veranda didn't even seem to care he was there, but the kids did  
"Mister, do you really know our mummy?"  
"Yeah. He was my best friend. I love him very much"  
"He's not inside. All the grown ups are inside, but mummy isn't"  
Then where was Lance?  
"Will you take me to him?"  
Laith looked to Lena, Lena placing her small hand in his right one as Laith took his left.

The kids tugged him along, reminding him of all the times Lance would get excited and do the same thing. The way his face used to light up when he found something exciting, or something he thought Keith was really going to like. They had kids... two beautiful healthy pups he hadn't known were his. Lance could have told him. Should have told him. He would have stayed. He would have been there. He would have given everything up. Ducking under a broken fence, there was a figure standing beside another   
"Uncle Ernesto!"  
Releasing his hand, the twins ran ahead. Reaching the pair, the taller one leant down, scooping Lena and Laith up, holding them protectively as Keith approached.

"What the fuck are doing here?!"  
"Ernesto..."  
He didn't know the other man... but he looked enough like Lance for him to assume it was his brother   
"No! This is all his fault! I'm not having him showing up now! I won't have it!"  
"Ernesto please, you're scaring the kids"  
"Marco! How can you be so calm?! This is all his fault!"  
"Ernesto, its not like I don't feel the same way... but this is what Lance wanted. You know how he felt about everything"  
"Where is he? Where's Lance?"  
Ernesto gave a dry laugh, turning away from him  
"Running in to play the hero. You know nothing"  
"Where is he?!"  
Marco moved forward, Keith thought for a moment he was going to be punched, instead the alpha shook his head with a sad smile, pausing so everything behind him was blocked out   
"You missed him. Only by a few days... he never stopped thinking about you. He kept telling me he wanted to you to know this was happy ending. That he was happy. And that he loved you. He never stopped loving you, but he thought you'd do more good out there, than being home with him. He said you and the twins would always be the best things that happened to him"  
Why did it sound like everything was so final? If Lance had already left, all he had to do was follow him...   
"I'm sorry Keith"  
"Where is he?"  
Keith's hands were balled in fists, Marco stepping forward, wrapping his arms around him  
"I tried so hard to hate you. I spent years wondering what I'd say if we ever met. Lance talked about you, more than anything else about his time out there. He cried for you when he birthed your pups. You really were the centre of my brothers world. Thank you for giving him that, and the twins. They made him so happy and proud"

Keith's knees folded, Marco guiding him down. Over the alpha's shoulder, he could see the fresh grave. He'd been too late. All of it had been too late. He'd left Lance behind, and this was what he'd come home to. If only he'd reached out sooner. Come home sooner. Never left... if they'd... one day... if they'd gotten back sooner, they could have used a pod. They could have saved him. His children wouldn't have to grow up without their mother... and he'd have Lance...  
"They poisoned the blade... they couldn't treat it... he tried to hold on. He wanted to see you again. He said you would have been proud. He killed the two Galra... he protected the kids..."  
Keith let out a sob, his arms finally wrapping around Marco. This wasn't fair. This wasn't how it was supposed to end  
"He... he... he was supposed to be fine. He was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be happy and safe. He was supposed to be here and waiting. I was supposed to protect him... I loved him and I never got to tell him..."  
"In his own way, he knew. He said you were awful with words, but your actions. You never did a thing you didn't mean"  
"I just wanted him to be happy"  
"He was"  
Marco rubbed his back. Keith sobbing as his heart shattered. The only person he could ever truly love was gone. His mate and his other half... his future with Lance... all gone. Completely erased because he couldn't find the words. He couldn't reach out his hand and keep him safe. Keep him by his side. The only person he could ever need... gone...

"Keith, do you want to meet your children? Laith and Lena. Lance said that Laith has all your scowls down. He loves singing, and soccer, but he's scared of storms, he always hides in bed when there's a storm. Lena was his princess. He said a princess always needed a smile and to be able to kick arse. She loves her dolls, and make up and she loves to draw. She's a real little diva"  
"Is it ok? I mean... Ernesto..."  
"Ernesto loved Lance deeply, but Lance couldn't love him back. He loved you too much and he refused to hold Ernesto back. He knows what you meant to him. He just can't forgive how you Lance was treated. He spent years jumping at his own shadow, but the night they showed up, he knew they'd come for him. He knew what to do. Who to call... the Garrison never even detected the ship. They knew nothing until Lance told me to call... and they don't even know he's died. The thought he had more time..."  
Sam hadn't known... none of them knew. None of them had the right to know... to see Lance like this, now that it was too late... and some how they'd find a way to make this personal, like this was Lance's way of insulting them one last time  
"Come here. Come meet them"

Ernesto kept his teeth bared as Keith knelt between in front of his children. The alphas scent warning him that one wrong move was going to end with blood. Squatting between the twins, Marco had a hand around their waists, while Keith didn't know what to say  
"Lena, Laith. You know that uncle Ernesto isn't really your daddy. Not like your Aunty Vee says... this is Keith. He's a Paladin. He flies that big Black lion, and mummy really loved him. He loved him so much he didn't tell him about you, because he wanted to protect him. Just like mummy wanted to protect both of you"  
"Uncle Marco, you talk too much"  
"She's got you there"  
"Keith is your daddy"  
"He looks cranky. And he looks like Laith"  
"And you look like a princess..."  
Lena instantly brightened  
"Mummy said I was. The best princess in the whole universe"  
"Did mummy ever tell you he used to live with a princess, and on a castle?"  
"He did?"  
"And I lived with him... that's how we met. Living on the castle together..."  
"Can I see the castle?"  
"Of course you can... and you Laith. What would you like to see?"  
"I want to see mummy again"  
The boys bottom lip quivered, tears spilling from his eyes. Reaching out for him, Keith pulled him close, blindly reaching for Lena with his other arm  
"He wanted them to be with you. That's the last thing he said..."  
"I was leaving Voltron. I wanted to be with him. Even if he had another alpha. I wanted to be there for him and his pup..."  
"You can stay here. Stay with us, or up at the house. Mr Rodriguez had a stroke, Lance was taking care of him and the house. It's not much of a life. It's quite, and until that fighter jet showed up, it was safe. It wasn't your happy ending, but it was his... he wanted to raise the kids here..."  
"Will you come with me? I want to show them where Lance lived. The castle isn't the same, the people aren't the same. But his lion. His lion knew this was coming. She never accepted Romelle the way she did Lance. If like her to meet the twins. I'd like her to know Lance was happy"  
"Lance would like that..."  
"Ernesto. I know you will never forgive me, but would you like to see how Lance lived? See the world how he did... from the eyes of a huge space lion?"  
"Marco, you can't be serious. We don't even know him"  
"Lance did. You were there. You were there when he died. You heard his last words. He wanted the twins to be with Keith and for them to know him"  
"It's their fault he's dead!"  
"That's right! He's dead! And I'm going to honour my little brothers request! Keith, can you take us?"  
"Yes"

 

*  
Landing Black back in her hangar, Marco had come, but Ernesto refused to. So it was the four of them. Yorak reappearing in Black the moment they'd landed. The twins shrieked with laughter as his dopey wolf nuzzled and licked at them. He could probably smell Lance all over them. Yipping, Yorak's tail thudded  
"I never believed him about the space wolf..."  
"His names Yorak"  
"Lance loved him..."  
"He loved him too. He spent days looking for him... hoarding everything of Lance's that was left behind... we should go. The others are already waiting"

Keith carried Lena on his hip, as Marco carried Laith. The rest of Voltron's original team were waiting for them at the hangar door  
"I know it's been years, but that's not Lance"  
"No. That's Marco. Where's Lance?"  
"Lance is dead... he died. Because you, he died"  
"That's a good one"  
Pidge had last none of her annoying childishness. Even though she was now engaged to Hunk. He didn't really know what Hunk saw in her... but that might have been his own hatred getting in the way  
"Lance died. He passed early yesterday morning. The Galra blade was poisoned. Earth couldn't treat it. He's dead, and I will never forgive you..."  
"Keith..."  
His mother came forward, wrapping her arms around him and Lena  
"Who's this little girl?"  
"My daughter. Lena"  
"I'm not a girl. I'm a princess. Mummy said so"  
"Oh, I'm sorry your majesty..."  
Lena giggled  
"You're hair looks pretty"  
"It's like yours..."  
"Mummy said it was like my grandmas, but hers is grey. She dyes it..."  
Lena giggled again. Krolia was completely smitten by the small child  
"Mum, this is Marco. He is Lance's older brother. And this Laith. My other pup"  
"He looks just like you"  
"Keith, care to start explaining?"  
"Sorry Marco. Marco, this is my mother Krolia..."  
"I can see what Lance meant... you don't exactly pass as human"  
"No, not quite... Keith, what do you intend to do?"  
"I want to tell them a little about Lance, show them around the castle. Take them to meet Red. She'd like that... then we're leaving"

"Keith! You can't just leave..."  
"Allura's right. You're the Black Paladin"  
"I'm sick of being with you. I'm sick of being reminded of how sad you made Lance. I intend to leave. I've talked to Black and to mum. The only ones who didn't know where you. I was supposed to be leaving to be with Lance, to be with him. To bond with him, but because of you. I lost 5 years and my chance to ever be with him. To see him laugh and joke. To make him smile and spend ever night curled up with him. I'm not giving up my kids. I'm not leaving then to die because I couldn't tell them how much I love them"  
His words were filled with frost. All of them eyeing him anger  
"Keith... you can't mean it. You're hurting. You and Lance..."  
"Me and Lance what? Never had sex? Never were close? Never felt disgusted by how easy it was for you to forget him and treat him like a burden. You treated him like he stopped existing! We couldn't even mention his name without you having a go at him, and you're engaged to the man who was supposed to be his best friend... the man who lets you trash his name. He's dead. He's dead and cold and in the ground because of all of you. Laith and Lena lost their mum, and now you're already trying to turn it back into some sob story for all of you. I am so done. Marco, mum, let's go. Yorak. Heel"

His temper had scared the kids, but they soon got over it. The wonder clear on their faces. Keith explaining the differences from the new castle and the old. Where Lance's old room had been, was now his. His things already packed... not that he had much... and pathetically, he'd stopped by that same market planet he'd taken Lance when Lance was hurt, and picked up a few small things. A bottle of lemon liquor, and an orange shirt. Even after 5 years, Eh'lee had sort him out. The man wanting to know how Lance was... everywhere he went, Lance had left some kind of trace. Much more of a trace than Lance would have believed. Their allies hadn't rushed to accept Romelle as the Red Paladin. The Olkari, confused by why Lance hadn't come back. Even Kolivan had raised an eyebrow on his otherwise creepy expressionless face. Keith had wanted to tell them all about it...

Marco had laughed as Keith told him stories about their antics, like how the Altean pool had been upside down... the last stop on their tour was to see Red. The lion lowering her shields as they walked into the Hangar. She knew. She knew was Lance hurt. She knew he was sick and she'd known when he'd died. Keith hadn't been the only one waiting for Lance. Red had waited for her chosen pilot to return... and now he never would. Lowering herself to her stomach, she opened her mouth. The twins not completely sure about this  
"Red, this Lance's brother Marco. He was with Lance at the end. He wasn't alone... and did you know I'm a dad? This princess is Lena, and Marco is holding my prince, Laith"  
Laith piped up  
"I don't want to be a prince. Mum said the only prince he knew was a quiznak"  
Keith felt his lips tugging  
"He was. He really was. Sorry buddy..."  
"Laith is fine... dad said he was his Paladin"  
"Paladin Laith and Princess Lena, this is Red. This is the lion your mum used to fly. He was very brave and he saved a whole lot of people"  
Lena hid her face against his neck   
"I miss my mummy!"  
"Me too... I miss him too... I know I'm not him, but I'm going to be here for you. For you and Laith. I'm not letting you guys go"  
"You're going to live with us?"  
"Yep. Keith sure is. And I'll be always down at the house, and uncle Ernesto, but we have to wait until he stops being sooo grumpy"  
"What about your other brother? And sister?"  
"Veronica couldn't handle Lance's PTSD. Louis sided with her. They barely talked before the twins were born. Vee said Lance wasn't fit to be a mum and wanted to take them. There was a huge fight. Papi and Lance only really sorted things out after they were born. Dad a problem with drinking when Lance was kid... I don't know if he told you about it, but being pregnant only left him scared of him. Things got better after our grandfather died. He and Lance stopped avoiding each other and started talking"  
"So he was happy?"  
"Yeah. Can she hear us?"  
"Yep..."  
"That is so weird... um, Red? Thank you for looking after Lance. He really loved you... thank you for being there for him"  
Red let out a mournful cry, and despite having not piloted her for so long, he felt her tendrils in his mind. Thanking him for bringing them to see her, and expressing her sympathies over finding Lance had already died. She knew he loved him... and hoped they find a way back together  
"She's happy she got to meet them, and to meet you... she really loved him. She wanted him to come back to her one day..."  
"He would have liked that. When he was pregnant, he'd watch the sky a lot. I think he used to hope you'd come back. That you'd see past his lies and come back for him"  
"I wanted to... I want to so many times"  
He was crying again. Fuck  
"Ernesto will come round. What do you need to do before you leave? Lance just took off be found me when he came back, but I guess you have more to do than that"  
"I need to grab my things and mind things... I'll have to sign a non-disclosure form, and sign over Black officially. As well as discharge papers... they'll probably keep an eye on Krolia due to her heritage... I also don't know much Spanish... Lance would want them to know"  
"You're family now. We've got you, bro. Once you get past mami, you're in"  
"What about you? Can you stay?"  
"Sure. Mami will look after old man Rodriguez until we get back. He was really good with Lance, even when we were kids. Lance was his favourite, always stealing fruit from the trees"  
"There's fruit trees?"  
"There used to be. Most of the food down there comes from the farm, but you look like you're good with a knife"  
"Not bad"  
"Dude, Lance put us through your kind of training, you were brutal"  
"Only because Lance wasn't a push over... he'd gotten pretty good while I was gone"  
"He dropped it for a while, but picked it back up. He said something like this could happen..."  
"He always had a great mind for plans and strategies. No one gave him enough credit for it"  
Red rumbled softly, agreeing with him  
"I think it's time we got off this castle. I know Lena is completely in love with your mum already"  
"Her hair is insane"  
"Just wait until she gets to yours. Lance used to let her do his hair"  
"Do you have photos?"  
"Oh bro. You have no idea"

 

*  
It took a month to be officially cleared... with a slight detour of kicking Galra arse. A ship coming into orbit about three weeks after Lance died... but Keith had been waiting. He believe Lance. He believed him when he said they were out there, and after that final battle, he was gone. Officially released from his ties as the Black Paladin, and moving to Cuba. With Krolia and Yorak. The others had tried to plan a service in Lance's memory, but Keith refused to be part of it. He wasn't going to let his omega's memory be used as propaganda. It was far too little, far too late. Lance had deserved the moon and all the starts in the sky, not to be plastered over TV to be stared at by people who didn't know his story.

Marco had stayed the whole time, helping him adjust to his new role as a father, and the twins had needed the break from their family. Though they still cried for Lance. Their small forms sneaking into his bed, burrowing into his hold to ask him all kinds things about their mum. Yorak adored them, pretty much glueing himself to Laith's side. The boy was soooo much like him. He got frustrated over his words, and was way better at venting his frustrations through his actions... Keith had lost three shirts in the process of losing that, but the pair of them were nothing compared to Lance's mother... she was... she smacked him in the face with his slipper when finally came back to Cuba, before forcing him to sit, complaining he was too thin and that the Galaxy Garrison wasn't feeding him properly. Lance had told her absolutely everything about him. Everything... including the little bits of his past that Lance had known. By the end of the night, she'd accepted him, scared the quiznak out him, warned him all about Veronica and Louis, and made him promise to never leave the twins alone. After that, she'd interrogated Krolia while Keith finally got a taste of the life Lance had had.

He wasn't great at cooking, nor was he great at cleaning, and decorating. He wasn't great at helping old man Rodriguez, calling him Tony felt weird, but his mum had the man wrapped around her finger. Applying the charm so thick and fast that it's left his mother with no idea what to do. He meant no harm by it, and seeing his mother so flustered was hilarious. They now had a mutual understanding. Mr Rodriguez would flirt non-stop, and his mother would just agree to it all. It took the pair of them to do the job Lance used to do on his own.

Every night, Keith would walk down to Lance's grave to bring him fresh flowers. He'd sit and talk to Lance for hours. He'd tell him all about what the kids were up to. When Lena had her first confession at primary school. When Laith learned to ride his bike without training wheels. Each time one of the lost a tooth. He hated that Lance was in the ground. He hated that he was missing everything he should be seeing. He hated they'd never have any memories and that he couldn't just reach out and pull Lance back to him. This might have been Lance's happily ever after, but the day he found Lance already gone, his life had been destroyed. Having the pups eased the pain, but they weren't Lance, even though Lena pretty much grew up to be exactly like him. Even down to the sass, while Laith... Laith grew to look more like Lance, but he was all Keith. Except for his singing... that kid could sing... Keith just sounded like a drowning rat. Even when the twins made their own lives, Keith's feelings for Lance had never lessened, still burning with a soul consuming fire. He couldn't even think of finding anyone else, and Lance had no idea, but he was the only one he'd ever slept with. His mother had tried to gently encourage him to get back out there, but Keith couldn't. Photos of Lance covered almost every surface of their house, his favourite a photo of them from their days as Paladins, him scowling as Lance beamed and it lived on his bedside table, so Lance would be the last thing he saw every night before sleeping. Mr Rodriguez had willed everything to the twins, wanting them to have every opportunity in life... like Lance wanted. And that's where Keith spent the rest of his life. There, with his mother, and his twins, and occasionally Marco or Ernesto, depending who was mad at who over what. And when the twins found their own mates and made their own families, the house became the family home. It hadn't been his happy ending, but by the end of it all, he'd found some happiness. All because of Lance.


End file.
